How To Catch A Potions Master
by Dazzlious
Summary: How do you catch a Potions Master? You need a plan . . . a cunning plan. This is a companion story to 'The Rose' *NOW COMPLETE*
1. Prologue

A/N: _So this story is the companion piece to "The Rose" and looks at Sarah's perspective on how her relationship with the Potions Master happened. The events are as canon as can be expected with an OFC inserted, until Half Blood Prince. At that point the story goes completely AU and messes around with characters and plots and ignores the last book completely — the war hasn't yet happened in my story and none of the major players have died (although that doesn't mean they won't in the future, as war may well be coming, but that's not covered here), Snape is back to being the Potions Master, and Blaise Zabini is the pre-HBP shadowy figure that people could never decide was male or female and had so much potential, he is definitely __**not**__ canon Blaise, who it seems hates everyone, whether pure-blood or Muggle-born. You may be surprised at what you read, because this love story may not be quite what you thought it was. _

_Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Dx_

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So I finally got what I always wanted. I am sitting here in bed, finishing this last journal entry whilst I wait for my husband to return from his meeting with the darkest wizard ever to walk the earth. If everything goes well tonight and Severus is forgiven, as I seriously hope he will be, we will begin the new chapter of our life together tomorrow and this diary that I have kept for so long will be relegated to the memory box of life, kept only for nostalgic purposes. I have to admit, though, that I am quite worried about him. I won't be able to be optimistic about our future together or truly relax until he arrives back to me safely. That's why I am writing; there is no way I can sleep, not tonight, not with so much of importance happening.

Sometimes I am still amazed that I managed to pull all this off. It was such a Slytherin act from such an insignificant little Hufflepuff, although it wasn't without its risks as you will learn. I wonder what my husband would think if he realised — if he knew what lengths I was willing to go to in order to be his wife? With the exception of my co-conspirator, I think only Hermione guesses the full story, but even she doesn't know for sure as we have never really talked about it and I have no desire to share. That's what my diary is for.

If everything goes according to plan, tomorrow morning my husband will at last understand just how much I adore him and perhaps he will at last accept that we really were meant to be together and that we can be happy, even blissfully so.

Anyway, as with all good stories, this one begins with a plan. This plan was so cunning it could have been dreamt up by a Slytherin — and to be fair, I did have a little help from those wily snakes along the way . . . although actually, if I'm being honest, it didn't start with the plan. It started with my husband. . . .


	2. First Year

You see, I guess it really all began when I fell in love with the Potions Master, approximately one and a half minutes after the start of the first Potions lesson in my first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

At the start of that lesson he raged through the door like a hurricane, his huge black cloak billowing dramatically, and swept towards the front of the class. I was completely overwhelmed. I had never seen anyone like him before: tall, majestic, and cruel, with a large nose, dark, sparkling eyes that showed more than a hint of his intelligence and temper, long black hair, and a scowl on his face that was evil enough to scare a small child. He wasn't handsome by any stretch of the imagination, but he was incredibly striking and I just couldn't tear myself away from looking at him. And then he spoke, and I just melted. His dark, rich, chocolatey voice promised such wonders. By the time he got to the part of his speech where he was talking about bewitching the mind and ensnaring the senses, he had already done just that to me. I was completely and irrevocably hooked. Of course, it wasn't really "Love". I was an eleven-year-old girl, to whom love was an embarrassment. But I knew I felt something for Professor Severus Snape that I had never felt for _anyone_ else in my entire short life.

The whole of my first year went past in a blaze. Honestly, I remember little of it as I wasn't yet keeping a diary. Instead, I was still trying to find my way in an environment that was completely alien to anything else I had ever experienced in my life. But I remember my Potions classes and the taciturn yet enigmatic man who taught them. Every lesson was a wonder to me. His beautiful voice kept me attentive and utterly enthralled, and I really enjoyed the careful art of potion making. It was a skill I was sure I could master, and I set my heart and mind on proving that I was worthy of the Potions Master's attention.

The Sorting Hat had had a real trial trying to decide on a House for me. I believe I am what is archaically called a Hatstall — not Slytherin, as I was Muggle-born, although the Hat told me I was sly enough for them; not Ravenclaw, although I was certainly clever enough for that House; and it told me I had courage, too, so maybe I was suited for Gryffindor. Finally, after almost five minutes of deliberation, it declared that with my easy-going nature I was best suited to Hufflepuff, which, as I wasn't aware at the time of the way the different Houses were perceived, was fine by me. I was just happy to finally belong somewhere.

As a Hufflepuff, most of my classes were spent with the Ravenclaws, so I missed a lot of the problems that Harry Potter and his friends were having with both Professor Snape and especially Draco Malfoy. My own Potions lessons didn't contain anywhere near the drama that the Slytherin/Gryffindor ones reportedly did. I did, however, have a few classes with them and always found Harry, Ron, and Hermione to be quite pleasant, although Hermione was a bit of a know-it-all and could annoy everyone without even really trying. And then I had a chance to get know Harry and Ron a little better over the Christmas holidays as they, like me, were staying at school.

Perhaps this would be a good place to explain about my life before coming to Hogwarts. When I got my letter to say I had been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I was so excited I almost made myself sick. I had always known I was different, and the letter, delivered by an owl of all things, proved it. There were little things that had always made me stand out from my friends, and most people thought I was weird. Not that I had many friends. My parents were archaeologists and they were always moving around, so I barely had time to make friends before being whisked off to a new location, or more often, dumped on some unsuspecting relative who accepted me because they had little choice and were well paid for the inconvenience. All the hours spent alone gave me time to explore my powers, and by the time Albus Dumbledore visited my parents to explain my gift to them, I was already quite far ahead of my age group even though I was Muggle-born and didn't yet own a wand.

My parents were glad to send me to a boarding school. It meant they didn't have to worry about me because I would be well looked after. They were told that with the exception of the summer holiday, during which there was no choice but to vacate the school completely, I would be able to stay at school for the rest of the year so they didn't need to worry about trying to find people for me to stay with during the holidays. But, busy as they were, my parents couldn't even spare the time to take me shopping for my books and robes. Of course, being Muggles, they knew no other wizards who could take me. So the Headmaster kindly arranged for one of the teachers, a stern but kindly woman called Professor McGonagall, to take me to Diagon Alley in London, where I spent a magical morning looking at the wonders of my new world and buying everything I might need during my first year at wizard school. This included an owl of my very own, a barn owl I called Gylfie, and the best thing I have ever bought in my life, my wand: bendy, ten-inch maple with a unicorn hair core, which I got from a strange little shop called Ollivanders. It was run by an even stranger little man, Mr Ollivander himself, who rather gave me the creeps with his silver eyes. Professor McGonagall seemed perfectly at ease with him, so I imagine he was okay really — although to this day I still have absolutely no idea why he measured me between my nostrils.

Like me, Harry went home only during the summer holidays. For him it was because he was an orphan. The aunt and uncle he lived with sounded absolutely awful and made the dotty old relatives I got foisted off on seem like the nicest people on earth. At least they treated me decently, most of the time anyway. Harry's family sounded as if they would rather he had died when his parents had. I won't bother talking about what happened to Harry's parents, as everyone in the wizarding world knows about them.

Ron stayed at school, too, because one of his older brothers works with dragons in Romania and his parents had gone to visit him. There are loads of Weasleys and they're not very well off, so it was probably cheaper for them all to stay at school. It was fun; Ron's older twin brothers, Fred and George, spent the whole time playing pranks and winding up their older brother Percy, even though he was a Prefect, causing a lot of laughter throughout the school.

I was quite happy to stay at school because it meant I didn't have to be alone for long stretches of time, as I would have been if I went to a relative, and I would still get to see my beloved Potions Master. On Christmas Day I even got the chance to sit next to him at dinner. There were so few of us staying at the school that Christmas that the Headmaster suggested we all sit at one table. I even got to pull a cracker with Professor Snape, although he had to be coaxed into it by the Headmaster. I soon gathered my beloved Potions Master wasn't really one for celebrating. I was so close to him I could smell his scent: spicy and woody and herbal from the potions, underlined with a muskiness that was all him. I can always recognise him wherever he is by that scent even if I can't see him; and yes, his scent is what I smell when I sniff Amortentia. The day I discovered that was the day I knew he was going to be my husband. Of course, Professor Snape didn't notice me, a silly twelve-year-old girl. To him I was just another of his dunderhead students that he had no choice but to be vaguely pleasant to on Christmas Day; for me, though, it meant the day was a perfect moment in time.

Once the holidays were over I continued to talk to the Golden Trio, as they eventually became known, and Hermione and I actually became quite good friends. We were both Muggle-born so had similar experiences, and we were both rather better at magic than many of our other friends. We also both had a thirst for knowledge, although I didn't spend anywhere near as much time in the Library as she did, mainly due to my growing interest in Quidditch — especially the Slytherin games, for some reason. Although Harry and I were friends, I didn't really know about the battle that was going on with Voldemort over the Philosopher's Stone. The Hufflepuffs didn't really interact much with the Gryffindors and I had never been around when they talked about it, although at one point I'd helped Hermione with some research into finding a bloke called Nicholas Flamel, which wasn't very successful.

I had very much enjoyed my first year at Hogwarts and was upset that I had to leave when the summer term ended. I was sorry to leave my friends and even more sorry to be leaving Professor Snape, although I had sensed pretty early on that it wasn't wise to admit to liking "the bat of the dungeons", as he was called by a lot of the students. He didn't seem to be a very popular teacher. I couldn't understand why he was so disliked. Yes, he was harsh, but his teaching methods were excellent — and he had a voice to die for. I actually wondered whether maybe I should have been a Slytherin after all. They appeared to be the only people who could stand him.

Harry was as sad to be leaving as I was. Off we went on the Hogwarts Express: Hermione on holiday to France with her parents; Ron and his brothers back to their huge, friendly family in a mysterious-sounding place called the Burrow; and Harry back to his dreadful aunt, uncle, and bully of a cousin, Dudley, who were probably going to make his holiday a complete misery. Me, I was going to a dotty old aunt who lived deep in the country and tended to forget that I was there for days on end whilst she sat in her study writing strange romance novels which were apparently very highly regarded, although I had never read one. As I hugged everyone goodbye in London, Hermione and I promised to write to each other over the holidays. Of course we couldn't manage to extract the same promise from the boys, although we did try; but then, we hadn't really expected to.

I spent the summer — and that year, with my desire to be elsewhere, it seemed interminably long — wandering the meadows and pond-dipping, wondering what Professor Snape was doing, and wishing I was back at school in the dungeons, cooking up potions with my favourite teacher.


	3. Second Year

A/N: _Thank you to everyone who is reading the story and also to my beta Mamacita for her sterling work._

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As I boarded the Hogwarts Express on the first day of school I looked for Hermione. She and I had exchanged several long letters over the summer and I was looking forward to hearing more about her holiday, as she had discovered a lot about French witches while she was away. On the way I ran into several of my Hufflepuff friends and enjoyed conversations with each of them about how their summers had been. Continuing on down the train, I suddenly found myself blocked from moving any further. There was a group of lads — from my year, I noticed. I recognised Draco Malfoy and his two henchmen Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, as well as some other Slytherins I didn't know. They were all crowded round a younger boy, obviously a first year, and seemed to be giving him a hard time.

I've never had any time for bullies and was soon shouting at Draco for being such a prat, telling them to leave the boy alone. One or two of the boys drifted away, but Draco was determined to give me trouble. By this time our shouting match had attracted a mixed crowd and I knew that Draco would soon skulk off, like the coward he was.

I was surprised when a gasp went round the watchers, obviously at something Draco had said to me. I hadn't understood what he had called me or why it was so bad, but soon the Prefects Percy Weasley and Penelope Clearwater were upon us, sending everyone back to their carriages. Percy was particularly nasty to Draco, once again presumably because of Draco's comment to me. Because I didn't understand, I asked Penelope what Draco had said that was so bad. She told me that being called a "Mudblood" was the worst thing someone could call a fellow wizard. Apparently it was a nasty term dreamt up by pure-bloods like Draco to describe Muggle-borns, the inference being that Muggle-borns had bad blood; that we were in some way inferior to pure-bloods. Penelope assured me that no one of any real breeding would put up with someone being called something like that and that only the nastier seam of the wizarding world would dream of calling someone such a foul name.

I was still annoyed with Draco as I made my way down the train, finally finding Hermione alone in a carriage. She was pleased to see me but was somewhat worried as Ron and Harry hadn't made it onto the train. She was sure they had got themselves into some sort of trouble. Of course, once we had arrived at Hogwarts the news soon spread that they had arrived at school in Mr Weasley's flying car and had managed to damage the famous Whomping Willow that stood in the school grounds. In retaliation, it had snapped Ron's wand.

As I settled down to my classes I couldn't help reflecting that Harry and Ron seemed destined to forever be in trouble. I waited with excitement for my first lesson of the year with the lovely Professor Snape. I wasn't at all disappointed when I saw him again. His dark eyes still burned and his smell was still fantastic. I loved everything about him, from the way he moved to his scowl. As I had the previous year, I followed Quidditch fanatically, especially the Slytherin games, although to be honest I didn't enjoy them as much as the previous year because Draco had now made it onto the team, and being the swaggerer he was, he ruined everything.

I hardly saw Harry and Ron, although I still saw Hermione fairly regularly because of our similar study habits. I had told her about Draco calling me a Mudblood and she admitted he had done the same to her. Ron had apparently tried to jinx him, but because of his broken wand the spell had backfired, making Ron vomit slugs. Unfortunately, Hermione described the incident in rather graphic detail. It sounded very nasty and I couldn't help feeling sorry for poor Ron.

This year definitely wasn't as good as my first, to be honest. Some scary events took place which of course had involved the Golden Trio, and someone in the school had apparently opened something called the Chamber of Secrets which, it was said, belonged to Slytherin's heir. We didn't really know much about the Chamber, especially as the teachers weren't willing to talk about it, but it wasn't long before Muggle-born students were being attacked and Petrified. Everyone was pretty scared — except, of course, the Slytherins, who are pretty much all pure-bloods and who, like Draco, for instance, were crowing about how the Mudbloods were going to die. No one could work out what was going on or who Slytherin's heir was, although I'm pretty sure most of the school thought it was Draco Malfoy.

Disgustingly, Hermione — and something like ninety-five percent of the female population of the school, it has to be said — was very taken with our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, the well-known and apparently well-loved author Gilderoy Lockhart. He was good-looking but incredibly vain, with long, golden hair and a poncey sense of dress that did nothing for me. I very much preferred my men tall, dark, and not so handsome.

So I was another year older and still just as devoted to Professor Snape as I had always been, yet I still didn't quite realise that what I felt was love. I have to admit that I almost fainted, like some weak Jane Austen heroine, when I saw him go up against Professor Lockhart at the duelling club. Not because I was worried he would be hurt — it was obvious to anyone with half a brain what an idiot Lockhart was — but because Professor Snape looked so impressive and dashing in his clean-cut black robes compared to Lockhart's foppish burgundy ensemble. And for someone who didn't believe in foolish wand-waving, Professor Snape's wand work was fantastic. Every movement he made was graceful and poised, and once again I was totally overwhelmed by him. I almost felt sorry for Lockhart because he was so clearly outclassed by the Potions Master, but he really didn't deserve my sympathy, smug git that he was.

Unfortunately, the whole episode turned rather scary once Harry and Draco got to duelling. Draco ignored what they were supposed to be doing and conjured a snake, which Lockhart, being the completely numpty he was, had enraged rather than got rid of. Suddenly Harry was speaking to it, seemingly guiding it in our direction and in particular towards my housemate, Justin Finch-Fletchley, who had previously mentioned to Harry during a Herbology lesson that he was a Muggle-born. I couldn't believe, knowing him as I did, that Harry was the heir of Slytherin, but even I had to admit his actions seemed rather suspicious; and of course he is a Parselmouth, a very rare gift, and something he shared with Salazar Slytherin, which made him seem even more likely in the eyes of most of the school. Fortunately, Professor Snape had no problems with his spell-work and got rid of the snake without any further trouble, whilst Ron and Hermione dragged Harry away. Poor Harry really wasn't very popular after that stunt.

Another happy Christmas was spent at school and once again I was lucky enough to sit next to my beloved Professor during the meal. Of course, this was because I hadn't yet realised that all the other students were desperately trying to avoid being stuck anywhere near him. I was in my element. I was one of his top students, thanks to my hard work and his wonderful voice, and I was lucky enough to enjoy a brief conversation with him on potion making. I'm sure you can imagine how I felt at the end of that day. For me, it was even better than the previous Christmas had been.

Professor Lockhart had taken it upon himself to arrange a Valentine's Day "treat" for the school that was way too pink and girly for anyone's liking and I'm sure he only did to remind people to send him a card, which I had absolutely no intention of doing, although I think Hermione did. The idiot had arranged for surly-looking "cupid" dwarves to act as messengers delivering singing Valentines and had managed to embarrass a good many people during the course of the day, including poor Harry. I have to admit that I did send Professor Snape a Valentine, although I didn't use Lockhart's service, obviously. Instead, I crept into Professor Snape's dungeon classroom whilst everyone was at breakfast and left a single perfect blood-red rose and the requisite card on his desk. The hammered cream card was completely plain except for a red heart in the centre, and I signed it with only a pink lipstick kiss that I had charmed so it wouldn't reveal who the sender was.

Yes, I know, it does seem awfully over-romantic and cloyingly sentimental, but at thirteen these sorts of dramatic gestures seem perfect. And I have to admit that every year since then I have continued to leave my beloved Potions Master exactly the same gift. I don't know what he thought of it that first time or what he ever thought of them, as they had always disappeared by the time we arrived for our class just after breakfast. His face never showed any sign of anything out of the ordinary, although I like to think that on those days his scowl wasn't quite as deep as it usually was. Whatever the case, I sincerely hoped the gifts made him happy.

Things took a further downward turn as the year went on, when first Justin and then Hermione ended up Petrified, as did that nice Prefect, Penelope Clearwater. Fortunately, by the time the girls were attacked I think everyone had realised that Harry was obviously not the heir of Slytherin — there was no way he would have hurt Hermione — and I'm sure people were once again beginning to think Draco Malfoy was the culprit. I know I did, especially as he was still being so mouthy and smug about what was happening. Then things reached rock bottom when Ron's younger sister Ginny, who had only started at Hogwarts that year, was kidnapped and taken into the Chamber itself.

The location of the Chamber was still not known. The Board of Governors removed the Headmaster from the school, although I'm not sure why; and that lovely gentle giant, Hagrid, was sent to Azkaban, but I couldn't believe he was the Heir any more than Harry was. Apart from being scared stiff of what was going on and worried that as a Muggle-born I, too, might be Petrified — and also that Ginny wouldn't be found — I was terrified that the school would be closed and I would be sent away, no longer able to have access to my beloved Potions Master. But somehow, once again, Harry and Ron managed to save the day, and Ginny was found alive and rescued. Unfortunately, it appeared that Professor Lockhart had an accident whilst helping them, which might have involved Ron's broken wand, and as a result he ended up as a permanent resident in St Mungo's, having completely lost his mind. As crap a teacher as he was, even I wouldn't have wished that on him, the poor man.

The year concluded on a far happier note, with the Headmaster and Hagrid restored to the school; Justin, Hermione, and the other Petrified students all restored to full health; and Draco no longer so mouthy. Once again I was sad to be leaving the school and would have preferred to stay there for the summer. This year I was staying with other relatives who lived on the south coast, and whilst I loved seeing my cousins and having fun at the beach, I still couldn't help thinking of my draughty Scottish castle, and of course the snarky Potions Master still working deep within it, the whole time I was on holiday.


	4. Third Year

A/N: _Thank you all for reading, and for those of you that have, for reviewing. I am trying to update this story fairly quickly as it's only small chapters, hopefully a couple of times a week. Thanks as ever to my beta Mamacita.  
_

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If I had any hopes that my third year at Hogwarts would be in any way normal, they were dashed by the journey to school. Having found Hermione and the others early on in the journey and said hello, I left them in a carriage with the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, who appeared to be asleep, whilst I went to join my Hufflepuff friends in a compartment a few doors down. Suddenly the train stopped and the lights went out. The temperature dropped and I could see ice forming on the carriage windows. Terror stuck in my throat as the door slowly opened, revealing an imposing cloaked figure. Its rattling breath filled the carriage and we all felt a chill run through us as the thing seemed to suck all the happiness out of the world.

Then the silence was broken with a piercing scream that I thought may have come from Hermione's carriage, and the dream we appeared to be in was broken. The thing — because that's what it was, a thing not a man — left the carriage and the lights flickered back on. All around us we could hear sounds of panic as everyone started to recover. A few seconds later a head burst into our compartment. It was our new teacher checking we were okay, telling us to stay where we were and to eat some chocolate. That seemed like a rather odd order, to be honest, but one we all felt we could follow. Amazingly, the chocolate helped to warm us up again and also to remove the feeling of terror.

The Headmaster was furious when he found out that Dementors, which is what the scary creatures were, had been on the Hogwarts Express. At dinner that night he told us that the Ministry had stationed them outside the school because for some reason they seemed to think the dangerous escaped murderer Sirius Black was going to try to reach Hogwarts — apparently with a view to killing Harry, Hermione told me later. Dumbledore was completely serious in his warning to us and asked us to give the Dementors no reason to attack.

Already the year was off to a bad start, and things went downhill rapidly. The new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Remus Lupin, was lovely. He was friendly, charming, and interesting, the complete reverse of Gilderoy Lockhart and definitely the best teacher we'd had in the subject since I had joined the school. Unfortunately, during one of his first classes with the Gryffindors he convinced Neville Longbottom to turn a Boggart into Professor Snape dressed in his grandmother's clothes, with a ridiculous vulture hat and big handbag. The news of this spread around the school like wildfire, and whilst most pupils seemed to think it was wonderful and the caricature was just what the "great greasy git" deserved, I was completely mortified. Now heading for fourteen, I was still completely besotted by the Potions Master; but I was now at an age to feel any pain acutely, and this childish prank cut me to the quick as I thought of the ridicule my beloved teacher had had to endure. And he was obviously humiliated by it. His temper, never especially good anyway, was barely held in check and he was quick to punish anyone not from Slytherin for the smallest misdemeanour.

I was a seething mass of hormones. Overnight I seemed to have changed. My body had filled out and I now had what could have been termed an hourglass figure. My breasts had grown hugely and my mood swings were erratic. I could go from elated to tears in minutes without even knowing why. I had always kept my naturally blonde hair short, otherwise it was a disaster — not quite of Hermione proportions, but close — and this year I had chosen to go with a classic elfin-look cut as it meant I didn't have to do anything to it. I still had a fantastic colour from my seaside holiday and a smattering of freckles that, according to the magazines I read, made me look attractive. I thought they just made me look freckly. I was aware that I was receiving looks from some of the boys in my year and from other years, too, but of course I wasn't interested in any of them. As ever, I had eyes for only one person.

Unfortunately, this problem with my hormones appeared to have also given me a problem with working in Potions. Previously I had always been a model student, but this year I found myself regularly drifting off during class, fantasising about my Potions Master. Having had no experience whatsoever with boys, these dreams were of nothing naughtier than a stolen kiss or a sly cuddle and mainly, of course, him talking to me romantically in that dark, silky voice of his, but they were enough to make me completely forget where I was. On several occasions I was shocked back into reality by a livid Professor Snape, annoyed at my inattention, especially when it was a dangerous potion we were working on. I found it increasingly difficult to keep out of trouble, which meant detentions; the more time I spent with him, the more time I found myself drifting away and fantasising about him, a vicious circle. These were bittersweet times for me. I had always prided myself on keeping out of trouble, yet the detentions meant I got to spend more time with the object of my affection. Of course the detentions didn't help my mood swings, either.

I was really glad I hadn't chosen to go down Hermione's route of learning that year, as I would never have had time to fit in all the lessons with the amount of detentions I was getting. I knew she was using a Time-Turner as I had originally been going to use one myself, but at the last minute I changed my mind and decided I didn't need the stress of all those extra classes and the huge responsibility of playing with time. Of course I was sworn to secrecy about it; keeping secrets was something I had always been very good at. My work and detentions kept me pretty much away from the Golden Trio, although I still managed to keep in touch with Hermione, usually in the Library. But it was during this time that I made a new and somewhat surprising friend.

My hormones were still raging and my emotions were all over the place. One minute I was ecstatically happy, the next I was severely depressed, with all the tears and self-loathing that went with that state. Obviously the turmoil over the detentions wasn't helping at all with keeping me stable. One evening, as I was once again leaving the dungeons after yet another detention, I was unfortunate enough to bump into Draco Malfoy and his minions who were loitering outside in the corridor, cutting off my access to the stairs. Of course there was no way they would get into trouble with Professor Snape if they decided to start in on me, but there was also no way I could avoid them.

I was tired after a very long and trying day, and the idea of a fight with these evil Slytherins really didn't appeal. The first to start was Pansy Parkinson, announcing in her high, whining voice that she couldn't believe I was in detention yet again. Draco laughed, cold and harsh, and commented that I was obviously desperate to be a Slytherin judging by the amount of time I was spending in the dungeons. This got a laugh from the whole company. I knew I was in a losing situation. If I retaliated they would pounce, if I tried to walk away they would pounce — it was just a case of which would be less painful. But once I heard Draco call me a Mudblood yet again, I knew which path it was going to be.

I turned to face Draco, stared him straight in the eye, and told him coldly and clearly without pulling any punches exactly what I thought of him and his pathetic little friends. Then I turned and ran for my life. Fortunately, my outburst had stunned the pale Slytherin and his cronies. They certainly hadn't expected me to hightail it out of there, so I got a head start. The problem was that I wasn't exactly au fait with the dungeons. I suddenly realised I could be heading for bigger trouble as I had no idea whether there was another exit, and there was no way I could get back to the stairs without being caught by a bunch of people who were now ready to hex me.

Suddenly, before I knew what was happening, I was grabbed by a firm hand and yanked into a disused classroom. I went to scream but found myself completely wrapped in a pair of strong arms with a hand pressed tightly over my mouth and my captor's mouth against my ear, breathing steadily. Seconds later the sound of charging Slytherins went past the door. Once the silence was back I felt the arms relax slightly and a whispered voice told me not to scream as the hand was removed from my mouth. I was still incredibly tense. I had no idea who had grabbed me, and I hated to admit that I rather liked the feeling of the hard body holding me tightly. I tried to relax. Whoever it was, he showed no signs of letting me go. Once a few more minutes had passed he finally removed his arms from me and I turned to see the smiling face of Blaise Zabini.

He was tall, dark, and well toned — somewhat like my Potions Master, but he was also incredibly good looking. To say I was astonished would be an understatement. Blaise was a good friend of Draco's and I had assumed he was the same as the rest of his Slytherin chums. It turned out, though, that unlike his Housemates he had no hatred of Muggles; actually, I honestly think he has no hatred of anyone.

I was grateful to him for helping me to escape from Draco and his friends and spent most of the rest of the year in his company. Because of the hatred evinced by his Housemates, we couldn't make our friendship public, so we spent a lot of time finding places where we could be alone. Blaise was bright and funny, and his lovely Italian accent was almost as enjoyable to listen to as Professor Snape's voice. Blaise was always complimenting me on how beautiful I was, even though I knew I wasn't really, and he always seemed to know when I was about to flip into depression and managed to find a way to pull me out of it. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure now how I would have survived that year without him.

It was about this time when Draco began to take more of an interest in me than he ever had done before. He regularly stared at me, far more intently than I was entirely comfortable with. At first I assumed it was because he knew about Blaise and me and disapproved of his best friend being close to a Muggle-born; but Blaise assured me that Draco had no idea we were friends. Still, I couldn't help wondering whether he would hex me if he got the chance, and I didn't like to be alone anywhere just in case. But being friends with Blaise didn't detract from my love for the Potions Master. Nothing could remove him from my heart.

On Valentine's Day I once again sent Professor Snape a blood-red rose and a perfect copy of the card I had sent the year before, complete with the lipstick kiss just to ensure that he realised they were from the same admirer — obviously he had so many admirers he needed help with that, didn't he? Yep, even now it still hadn't really sunk into my brain that no one else was likely to send him a Valentine. Once again there was no sign of the rose or card when we had lessons with him, but he did seem to be in a good mood that I liked to think was due to me and my gift. Unfortunately, that sent me off into a rather florid and romantic daydream, and I ended up in detention again. Worse still, I got a serious talking-to by Professor Sprout, my Head of House, who told me that Professor Snape was seriously worried about me.

The idea that my Potions Master was worried about me was terrifically exciting and gratifying, as in my hormonal teenaged brain it proved that he cared about me; yet at the same time it was completely mortifying that I was so bad he had to report me to my Head of House. I knew then that I had to buckle down and limit my fantasising to when I was alone in my dorm. I didn't want to be the trouble-making student and I definitely didn't want to risk losing my place in Potions because my beloved Potions Master refused to teach me any more.

The end of the year was fast approaching. Once again I was being packed off to my dotty aunt to spend all my time walking the meadows, pond-dipping, and bird watching — and dreaming of my Professor, too, I guessed. Of course this year there was Blaise to think about, too. I really was sorry to be leaving him. He was heading off on an infinitely more interesting holiday to see family in Italy and promised to send me lots of postcards.

Before I had even got on the Hogwarts Express, I really wanted to be back at school.


	5. Fourth Year

My hormones had finally begun to calm down over the previous few months and I had matured considerably. I had also discovered masturbation during the holidays, with all that time on my own and my thoughts about Professor Snape were definitely no longer fluffy and wholesome. Actually, I was incredibly glad no one could read my mind, as every time I saw him my thoughts instantly hit the gutter. In fact, by now I was having such erotic thoughts about him I was beginning to wonder if I was normal.

Blaise and I were still friends and I have to admit that some of my fantasies now contained him rather than my Potions Master; with the excitement of the Tri-Wizard Tournament going on Blaise and I found a lot of time to slip away to be alone together. We didn't do anything particularly bad, I don't think, just the usual experimenting that all fifteen-year-olds do, but we did do a lot of it and very pleasurable it was, too.

A Yule Ball was held during the Christmas holidays in honour of the Tri-wizard Tournament. Hermione upset Ron by going with the Durmstrang Tri-Wizard contender and Bulgarian Quidditch player, Viktor Krum. Of course Ron hadn't actually asked her; he still hadn't yet worked out that he wanted a relationship with his friend, even though the way they acted towards each other made it clear to everyone else in the school that they fancied each other like mad. Harry was busy with the Tri-wizard Tournament, having been a surprise and somewhat reluctant contender, and I had no idea who he was taking to the Ball. I knew our Tri-wizard hero, the handsome and actually rather nice Cedric Diggory, was going with Cho Chang, the Ravenclaw Seeker. She was a pretty girl who I had never spoken to but had seen out on the Quidditch pitch.

I didn't have a partner for the Ball. I wanted to go with Blaise but of course that was never going to happen. There was no way he could take me without giving away our friendship, and we were agreed that it had to remain a secret. He would keep up appearances and go to the Ball with one of his own House. I decided I didn't want to go to the Ball as I didn't really want to see Blaise having fun with someone else. If I'm honest, I was also sulking, big time. Unlike previous years, there were so many people staying at school during the Christmas holidays because of the Ball and the Tri-wizard Tournament that we all had to sit at our own House tables on Christmas Day. I missed sitting with and talking to Professor Snape. There was no perfect moment for me that year.

Although I was sure my Potions Master would be at the Ball, as all the staff were expected to be in attendance, I still turned down the offers from the guys in my own House. I had just resigned myself to a lonely evening in bed dreaming of Professor Snape when I got an unexpected invitation from George Weasley. I knew him and his brother quite well because of our previous Christmases together, and I really liked the twins. They were always good company and I knew I'd be sure to have a fun night, especially when I discovered that Fred's date for the evening was his Quidditch teammate Angelina, who I vaguely knew and got on with well enough.

In the event, we had a great evening and I didn't even have much time to worry about what Blaise was up to as I was having so much fun with George. I did look at Blaise when I first entered the Great Hall, but he was escorting that ox Millicent Bulstrode, making up a foursome with Draco and Pansy, and the scathing looks and nasty comments about my dress from the others upset me so much that I didn't bother again. Eventually George asked me to go for a walk with him and we slipped out of the Great Hall and found a quiet spot where we proceeded to get to know each other considerably better. Fortunately the twins have great knowledge of the Hogwarts castle and grounds, so we managed not to get caught by Professor Snape, who seemed to be on the warpath that night for some reason. I didn't see him but I heard about this later from people who had got caught. Unfortunately this started more rather naughty thoughts in my head, about being caught by the Potions Master.

Of course, regardless of any dalliances with boys my own age, Severus Snape was still my one true love, and once again I sent him a rose and card for Valentine's Day. It was slightly harder to deliver the gift without being seen this year, as after the Ball Blaise seemed to be everywhere I went. It turned out he was less than impressed by my choice of partner for the Ball. It hadn't escaped his notice that the two of us had slipped away together, either, so he seemed to think he needed to keep an eye on me. Draco Malfoy seemed to be all over the place, too, for reasons I couldn't quite fathom. I was beginning to feel like I was being stalked by the Slytherins, so often did they appear wherever I was.

And it wasn't just them. I suddenly seemed to be gaining a whole raft of male friends from all Houses. Several of them asked me to go to Hogsmeade with them, but I turned them all down. I still had Blaise to think about, even if he and I weren't getting on quite as well as we had before the Ball. I did have a very interesting encounter with Fred and George in an alcove near Gryffindor Tower one evening, and I have to admit that for at least a week afterwards my masturbation sessions were devoted completely to them. But still, no one could hold a candle to my snarky Potions Master; my mind was now very adept at constructing amazing fantasies involving him.

Fortunately, with my hormones evening out, and probably because I was masturbating so regularly, my concentration had improved in Potions so no more detentions came my way, which of course left more time to do other things. I wasn't entirely sure now how I felt about Blaise. I enjoyed being in his company, and he made me feel beautiful with his compliments and his sexy voice and pretty face. But I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him and spend time with him publicly, and that just wasn't going to happen. He was still adamant that our relationship, which if truth be told hadn't really progressed much since the Ball, had to stay a secret. But since the Ball, Fred and especially George had been increasingly friendly to me, and they were happy to be seen with me and accompany me to Hogsmeade, so I began spending more and more time with them.

It soon became obvious that Blaise wasn't taking this at all well. By the end of the year he and I weren't on speaking terms any more after a huge argument we had during one of our secret trysts when he announced that I was to stop seeing George and that he didn't even want me talking to the twins, let alone going anywhere with them. But when I asked if this meant that he and I were finally going to go out together properly and conduct our relationship in public, he told me not to be so stupid.

No one calls me stupid and gets away with it. I slapped his face hard, told him I didn't want to see or speak to him ever again, and stormed back up to the castle in tears, only to bump into the twins en route. I had previously told George about Blaise, because I knew I could trust him not to say anything and had needed someone to confide in once things had started to go downhill between us. He realised pretty quickly who my argument must have been with, so he left Fred and took me for a walk so I could calm down and have a rant without worrying about being overheard. After that day I spent almost all my free time with the twins. They were such good company that after a few weeks I almost forgot about my time with Blaise, except for the odd occasion when I noticed him watching me, usually with Draco for company.

I hadn't forgotten my Potions Master, though. He seemed to be acting quite erratically. I knew he didn't like Karkaroff, the Headmaster of Durmstrang, and was ill at ease in his presence, but when Harry came back from wherever the Tri-wizard Cup had taken him at the end of the competition, clutching Cedric's dead body and screaming about Voldemort's return, Professor Snape went extremely odd. As a Muggle-born I knew little of the previous rise of Voldemort, but I'd heard enough about Death Eaters, especially since their recent re-emergence at the Quidditch World Cup. Now the rumours were running round the school that my beloved Potions Master, Severus Snape, was one of them. I couldn't believe it was true.

To be honest, Cedric's death was a really sad end to the year. Everyone in our House, and actually most of the school, grieved over the death of this well-loved boy. Although I hadn't known him well, even I felt tearful every time anyone mentioned him. At the end-of-term meal Dumbledore told us all how Cedric had died and almost everyone was shocked. Everyone except for the Slytherins, of course, who seemed unsurprised by the announcement — probably, I assumed, because they were all children of Death Eaters and held the same warped views their parents espoused. They were probably already well aware of Voldemort's return.

Fred and George invited me to visit them at the Burrow over the holidays, as once again I was being foisted off on the dotty aunt. With the prospect of a more interesting summer than usual, I didn't mind the trip on the Hogwarts Express, although I knew I was going to miss Professor Snape as much as I always did — in fact, probably more this year, as I was really worried about him.


	6. Fifth Year

A/N: _Hello and thank you to everyone reading and especially those reviewing. I really appreciate it. Dx_

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I spent a happy couple of weeks at the Burrow, being made to feel welcome by every member of the Weasley family, and was taken under Mrs Weasley's wing. George told me it was because she felt sorry for me for being ignored by my parents. I thought she quite liked me but I got the impression she was happier when I was with both Fred and George rather than just George on his own, although I'm not entirely sure why that was. After all, I had now had several interesting encounters with both boys, and together they were completely unstoppable.

It was good to also spend some time with Hermione and rekindle our friendship, and to get to know Ginny, who is a really lovely girl and who was completely in love with Harry, although he still hadn't realised it at that point. Unfortunately, just before the end of the holiday Harry — who else — had a bit of a problem with some Dementors and ended up in trouble with the Ministry of Magic, who it appeared were completely ignoring the fact that Voldemort had returned. The Ministry wanted to expel Harry from Hogwarts, so Mr Weasley and his friends were going to go and rescue him from his uncle's house and take him somewhere safe where the Ministry couldn't find him. For some reason this meant the whole family moving, and as it was so close to the start of the new school year I was asked to go as well.

The place where we spent the final few weeks of the summer holiday was a dark and dingy house in central London that belonged to Sirius Black, who it turned out wasn't a murderer after all but was Harry's godfather. The house had a Fidelius charm on it so no one could divulge its whereabouts; Sirius had been living there since his escape from Hogwarts back in the third year, which I discovered Hermione and Harry had facilitated using Hermione's Time-Turner. It was also the headquarters for something called the Order of the Phoenix, a group of people who had fought against Voldemort and his Death Eaters during the first war and were galvanising themselves into action in readiness for the second which they were convinced was coming. Whilst we were staying, there were regular meetings of the members. None of us students were allowed to join in; we were told repeatedly that we were too young, even though we were all adamant about joining up. But Fred and George were forever trying to listen in and had invented some Extendable Ears that they hoped could tap into the meetings.

It was during one of our listening sessions that I heard a voice I would never have expected to hear at a meeting of the Order: Severus Snape!

My mind was whirring. I wanted to be on my own to consider the implications of this, but at the same time I desperately wanted to get into the room to see my beloved Potions Master. It had been almost two months since I had last seen him. George could tell something was wrong, but we got caught eavesdropping before he had a chance to ask me what the problem was. As I entered the kitchen my heart was beating so loudly that I thought it must be obvious to everyone. There was Professor Snape, scowling and angry-looking, and although he appeared tired and drawn, to me he was the most wonderful sight I'd had for ages. Of course I made sure I sat next to him at dinner, and we even had a short discussion before the talk turned back to Order matters and we "children" were evicted from the room once more.

I hoped Professor Snape would be going with us on the Hogwarts Express the following day; that would mean him staying overnight at Grimmauld Place, and I have to admit my brain did conjure a rather lewd fantasy around that premise. But instead he left almost immediately after dinner. After he left I wanted to spend some time on my own to try to make sense of what I thought I had learnt about the Potions Master, but George and Fred insisted on keeping me company and kept Apparating to wherever I went in the house. Eventually I had no choice but to admit defeat and instead I spent the evening looking at the latest jokes they had devised. I have to admit that it was quite entertaining and they very effectively took my mind off Professor Snape.

Leaving the train at Hogwarts station the following day, I bumped into Blaise and Draco — almost literally, in fact. I had reached into the train to get my case and as I turned round they were both standing there. I groaned inwardly. The last thing I needed right now was a confrontation with them. I noticed that Draco was wearing a Prefect's badge. Oh god, who had given him that? He was bound to be even more unbearable now he had the power to lord it over people. Actually, although the situation was a little uncomfortable, Blaise was pleasant enough to me, enquiring about my holiday and generally being polite. Draco just stood sneering in the background. When a group of my friends appeared and called to me, they gave me the excuse I needed to get away, knowing Blaise wouldn't want to be seen with me in public, especially as we were no longer a couple.

I was just as surprised as everyone else at the school by the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. The woman looked like a toad and she wore a shade of pink that Gilderoy Lockhart would have been proud of. We all sat in rapt amazement at the welcome feast as the woman ignored the protocol of being introduced and just giving a wave and a nod of her head, and instead got up and gave a massive speech that sounded suspiciously like she was saying the Ministry of Magic were trying to take over the running of Hogwarts. I wasn't entirely sure what that would mean, but seeing how they had acted towards Harry I didn't feel confident it would mean anything good. And unfortunately, that proved to be the case.

It wasn't long before Dolores Umbridge, as the toad was called, was poking her nose in everywhere and making the entire school's lives a misery. At first she had just ruined everyone's enjoyment of Defence Against the Dark Arts by insisting that we study the most boring book in the world and refusing to allow us to actually practice any spells; we weren't even allowed to take our wands out of our bags. But then, slowly but surely, she began to take over the school. It wasn't long before the Minister for Magic, the pompous Cornelius Fudge, had promoted her to Hogwarts High Inquisitor. At this point my original dislike for the woman turned into utter hatred as she set about inspecting the teachers at Hogwarts with a view to getting rid of them if she felt they were unsatisfactory. I had heard from Hermione about Umbridge's inspection of Professor Snape's class whilst Gryffindor and Slytherin had been in there and the mean way in which she had questioned him, and once again I felt acute pain at the way my beloved Potions Master had been treated.

It was around this time that Blaise tried to convince me to restart our relationship, but I was having far too much fun with the Weasley twins to even consider it. Anyway, I didn't want to go back to sneaking around in corridors and finding deserted classrooms, at least not with someone who wasn't willing to admit in public that he knew me. It was true that with Fred and George I spent at least as much time hiding out as I had with Blaise, but at least I wasn't their dirty little secret. In fact, I'd actually had to have a word with them at one point about being a little more circumspect.

The boys invited me to join them in Hogsmeade, but not for our usual day out. Instead we were going to meet up with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and other like-minded individuals, to practice proper Defence Against the Dark Arts as we were being stopped within school. I was worried, knowing of the rise of Voldemort and the Death Eaters, that we wouldn't be prepared if we needed to fight. Umbridge's assertion that no one was going to attack children didn't ring true with everything I had seen so far, especially after Cedric's death. So I agreed to join them, and by the end of that day I was a fully signed-up member of the group that eventually called itself Dumbledore's Army.

By now the Ministry of Magic had given that awful woman even more power. She introduced a series of decrees into the school which seriously impacted our ability to do anything even vaguely interesting. Worse, she was a bully and a torturer. I was lucky in that since I had got over my troublesome phase I had never had a detention. But I heard from the twins and others who had that Umbridge's detentions were barbaric and painful, so I was determined never to get into trouble while that woman worked at the school. My only comfort was that she would likely be leaving at the end of the year, as no Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher ever seemed to manage to last longer than that.

Christmas was a somewhat difficult time. Almost everyone who could tried to escape from the school; no one wanted to spend it under Umbridge's watchful eye. It made no difference to me, of course. I had nowhere to go so I had no choice but to stay at school but at least I wasn't likely to catch her eye. For the first time, I was staying at Hogwarts without the Weasleys or Harry. Mr Weasley had been seriously injured in an accident at the Ministry of Magic and his family, along with Harry and Hermione, had left the school quite suddenly in the middle of the night and weren't expected back until after the Christmas holiday. I was used to being alone, of course; after all, I had to put up with it almost every summer. But I had also got used to the snowball fights and the laughter that came with Christmas with the Weasleys, and I'll admit I was really missing the twins.

I was one of only a handful of students to sit down for Christmas dinner. My place at the Potions Master's side was assured, which, as ever, was enough to make my day. The Headmaster had gone out of his way to make the meal as festive as possible, trying to inject some levity into what was rapidly turning into a Ministry-approved Christmas. This meant amazing crackers containing the most outrageous hats, which he insisted on everyone wearing. I was surprised that even Professor Snape, who had always refused to wear even the most unobtrusive of paper hats in previous years, did so without a murmur — and without a scowl. Frivolous as it might seem at the time, I realised later that what the teachers were doing at that table was showing Umbridge that they were united in supporting the Headmaster, regardless of what the Ministry of Magic tried to throw at them.

But then things got worse, if that was possible. The first thing that impacted me was Umbridge's decision to form her own equivalent of the Prefects, called the Inquisitorial Squad. I think the name gives away the sort of things they were entitled to do; they were given far greater powers than that of Prefects, amongst them being able to dock House points. I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised to hear that the squad was made up exclusively of Slytherins, the lead being Draco Malfoy. He and his friends used this as an excuse to follow and harass the pupils they didn't like — and as I soon discovered, that included me. Everywhere I went, Draco seemed to be there as well, always watching what was I was doing and no doubt reporting back not only to Umbridge but to Blaise, too. Whilst Blaise wasn't a member of the Inquisitorial Squad, he was doing more than enough spying of his own.

I still found time to plant my usual Valentine's gift for my beloved Potions Master, but it was an even trickier prospect than in previous years as Draco seemed intent on following me everywhere. I couldn't understand why, when the Golden Trio would surely have provided much better fare for the mistress he served. I did very little except go to lessons and disappear for a little fun time with Fred and George. Fortunately, although Umbridge had been scathing in her treatment of Professor Snape, she had not attempted to sack him as she had Professor Trelawney and Hagrid. But her tyranny was having a bad effect on the teachers as well as on the students and none of the classes were fun any more. They were made even less so by the knowledge that there wasn't long until our O.W.L.s would be upon us.

Somehow Umbridge discovered that Dumbledore's Army existed. She tracked us down and captured us in the Room of Requirement, where we gathered to practice. The resulting confrontation between the Headmaster and the Ministry of Magic left Dumbledore departing from the school and into hiding, although no one knew where, and that spiteful old baggage took on the role of Headmistress. I ended up in detention with all the others in the group and learnt first-hand just what an evil bitch Dolores Umbridge was. We were ordered to use Blood Quills that cut into the back of your hand as you wrote. We all suffered during her long and very painful detentions.

Then I received what was possibly the worst blow of the year, and one that left me feeling very disheartened. Fred and George, after yet another detention with Umbridge, decided they weren't going to stay at Hogwarts to take their N.E.W.T.s. They had been working for years on products for a joke shop they wanted to open and I knew, because they had told me in confidence, that Harry had given them his winnings from the previous year's Tri-wizard Tournament to obtain a place to open it. They had put a down payment on a shop in Diagon Alley and were just about ready to move in; they'd had enough of that vicious old cow and her decrees and detentions. I was heartbroken at the news that they were leaving, even though I understood their reasons for doing so. I wasn't sure how I was going to get through the rest of the year without them, even though it wasn't that long. With so much bad stuff happening at Hogwarts, even my beloved Potions Master wasn't enough to sustain me through this dark period, and for a short while it seemed that maybe I would fail all my O.W.L.s, even the Potions one.

I was there for the twins' big send-off, watching with awe at the breathtaking brilliance of their inventions, but once they had gone I had retreated to be alone, hiding myself away so I could cry and be miserable without criticism and without starting off the gossip-mongers who were always eager to cause trouble. It was there, in a deserted classroom on the fifth floor, that Blaise and Draco found me. I will admit that I was quite scared initially. Draco entered the room first, and unprepared as I was, if he had wanted to hex me he could easily have done so before I had a chance to retaliate. But having established where I was he left almost immediately, returning a short time later with Blaise in tow.

I'll be honest: I wasn't really in the mood to talk, certainly not to someone who hated me for not being pure-blood or someone who was too embarrassed by me to want to be my friend in public, and I told them so in no uncertain terms. After all, I've always been extremely forthright in my dealings with Draco. But they wouldn't leave, and eventually, against my better judgement, I gave in and allowed them to stay. It was actually quite good to talk to Blaise again. I had forgotten just how much fun he could be and how good he could make me feel just by talking. My distrust lessened a little when they admitted how impressed they were by what Fred and George had done. I was surprised that instead of being his usual sneering self, Draco chose to show the side of himself that only the Slytherins ever saw. I realised that when he wanted to he could actually be quite pleasant. By the time I returned to the Hufflepuff common room I was feeling far less miserable than before.

I think the breakthrough with Draco came when I realised that he felt exactly the same way about Umbridge as the rest of us did although, as he pointed out, as a member of the Inquisitorial Squad he was immune to her cruel punishments. I knew that wasn't the only reason he was a member, he was far too fond of abusing his power for it to be just a refuge. But it gave us some common ground, which we had never had before. Blaise was still eager for us to get back together, but I was ambivalent about it. Spending time with him again had made me realise that I did like him, but there was still the problem of needing to keep the relationship secret, which I wasn't keen to go back to. But eventually I agreed to give it another try.

I went into the O.W.L.s far more calmly than I had been expecting to; Blaise had done his usual job of keeping me stable and sane. I didn't even mind that Draco spent a lot of time with us now, although I made it very clear that whilst I was willing to resume the intimacy with Blaise that we'd had previously, I wasn't willing to bring Draco on board, too. Nor was I willing to confirm or deny anything I had done with Fred and George, and the fact that I had spent time alone with them both at the same time did not mean I had done anything intimate with both of them together, or that I wanted to do that with Blaise and Draco.

As another school year finished, with Umbridge now gone — and good riddance, too: taken away by centaurs after she had called them a bunch of filthy half-breeds — and Professor Dumbledore returned as Headmaster, I was feeling far more hopeful. I was getting on well with Blaise, still secret but fairly happy about the way it was heading. The exams were finished and I was sure I had done well, at least in Potions, which was obviously the important one as far as I was concerned. All I had to do was get through yet another boring summer holiday, this time with some great-uncle who lived in Cornwall, and I would be beginning my N.E.W.T. course with Professor Snape. I was sure I would be happier than I had ever been, as it would mean increased lessons with my beloved Potions Master. Although I felt a little maudlin as I boarded the Hogwarts Express, I knew it would only be just over six weeks before I was back home again, with the man I loved.


	7. Sixth Year

I was so desperate to see my beloved Potions Master again that I couldn't wait until our first lesson. The brief view of him at the welcome feast wouldn't be anywhere near enough for me — it never was. I had received an Outstanding for my O.W.L. and knew this meant I had definitely qualified for Professor Snape's N.E.W.T. class. I had actually done very well in all my classes, except Divination which I decided to drop because it was a load of old tosh, something on which Hermione and I were in total agreement. Imagine, then, my shock — and horror, too, I suppose — when at the welcome feast the Headmaster announced that Professor Snape was no longer going to be the Potions Master but was instead going to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts.

There were two problems with this change, at least as far as I could see. Firstly, I liked my Potions Master being the Potions Master and I wanted to spend my year sitting in a dark dungeon classroom with him talking about Felix Felicis, Veritaserum, and the Draught of Living Death, not sitting in a bright, airy classroom on the sixth floor talking about Grindylows, Hinkypunks, and Inferi; secondly and actually far more important, no one had ever managed to last more than a year in the Defence Against the Dark Arts job since I had been at the school. One person had died, one had gone mad, one had been trapped and impersonated by a Death Eater, one was a complete psychopath, and one had been a werewolf. That didn't bode well for Professor Snape's tenure in the post and I couldn't face the idea of something happening to him or him not remaining at school during my final year.

He seemed to be happy enough, of course. Rumour had it that he had always wanted to be the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher; and if that was the case, he finally had his wish. But I was devastated and not at all interested in who his replacement was. I wanted only to leave the Great Hall and get to bed, where I could retreat into fantasies of Professor Snape as Potions Master. I was so upset that I didn't even want to see Blaise, or Draco, who was still hanging around.

And so began a year of frustration.

Professor Slughorn, my beloved Potions Master's replacement, was a decent enough teacher, but he wasn't Severus Snape. I found my attention waning in his class because he didn't have the voice or the looks to keep me interested and although I worked hard to get through the lessons that were set I didn't enjoy them as much as I used to. But although my interest in Potions was waning slightly, I did discover something interesting. On the day of our first lesson with the new teacher he prepared some N.E.W.T.-level potions and asked us to identify them. Hermione answered on all of them, of course. I could have done so also, as I knew what they all were, but I was feeling the loss of Professor Snape keenly and couldn't be bothered to join in.

One of the potions was Amortentia, which as I'm sure you all know is the strongest love potion in the world. As I joined the others to look in the cauldron my senses were assailed by the smell of herbs, sandalwood, and that barely noticeable muskiness that identified Professor Snape. To be reminded so forcefully of my Potions Master set my mind racing and my emotions seesawing.

You see, over the summer holidays I had spent a great deal of time thinking about things. I had plenty of time to spare as my great-uncle was a fisherman who spent most of his time at sea, leaving me to wander around his little Cornish village alone. It was during these solitary walks that I had considered my various relationships and where I thought they were likely to go, both within the current year and in the future.

First I considered Blaise, and to a lesser extent, Draco. Blaise and I had rekindled our earlier relationship, but as far as I could see it was never going to go any further. He was still unwilling to take the step of making our relationship public, and whilst he was a thoughtful and tender lover, I needed more than that, certainly in the long term. Draco was still hanging around, although for what reason I wasn't entirely certain. Sometimes I got the feeling that he, too, wanted a relationship with me, but that was crazy considering his hatred of Muggle-borns, although he seemed to tolerate me well enough these days. But even if that was what he wanted and I was willing to go for it, he too would want the relationship to be hidden from the rest of the school, so yet again there was no future in it.

And then there were Fred and George. I loved them both dearly, and they had certainly been something special to me, but now they were out in the real world working in their hugely successful joke shop whilst I was stuck at school. Both of them wrote to me regularly and I had been to see them towards the end of the summer holidays when I went shopping for my school equipment for the year, but things had changed between us. I felt it and I know they knew it, too. At school it had been fine for the three of us to go around together, but if it were to work in the real world I would have to choose between them. George would be the favourite, of course, as he was the one I had got close to first and Fred was still having an on-again, off-again thing with Angelina, but I knew it wouldn't be the same; and whilst I was still at school it would be almost impossible to keep going, anyway.

And finally I thought for a very long time about Professor Snape, the man who had taken up so much of my life for the previous five years and who never really left me, regardless of how intimate I got with anyone else. That I was attracted to him was a given. I had known that from the first moment I met him. Additionally, I found him interesting and enjoyed conversing with him, even though I hadn't had much chance to do so over the years. And then I considered where he fitted into the war that was more than likely coming. It had been confirmed that he _had_ been a Death Eater, that much I knew; but I was also aware that Professor Dumbledore had vouched for Snape at his trial. And then, of course, he had been at Grimmauld Place, a member of the Order of the Phoenix. If that was the case, why were people still so sure he was a Death Eater? As I considered it further I began to wonder whether he was in fact a spy for the Order, masquerading as a Death Eater in order to discover what Voldemort was up to. My stomach was full of knots at this thought and I'll admit that I really hoped that wasn't the case. It would be so dangerous for him.

But what did it really matter what he was? In reality he was nothing but my teacher, however much I may have wanted something more. Was there really ever going be a chance for something to develop between us? If I was brutally honest, which I didn't want to be but needed to be, it was pretty unlikely. Severus Snape didn't see me as anything more than a pupil and probably never would. He had absolutely no idea that I had been mooning over him for years, and that he had been the catalyst for almost my entire history of masturbation. It was all very well for me to acknowledge that I adored him, but if I was truthful there was probably even less chance of a relationship with him than there was with any of my other men. Even Draco Malfoy had more chance of making it.

And so I returned to school, desperate to see Professor Snape but certain now that anything between us would be purely a fantasy in my mind and that my best course of action was to try to get over him and move on to a proper relationship with someone who wanted me as much as I wanted him. But in that moment when I smelt the Amortentia I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was going to marry Professor Snape, even if it took me the rest of my life to achieve it. That beautiful potion showed me my heart, and I knew that whatever I may have shared with Blaise or George or Fred, I was completely and utterly in love with Severus Snape and nothing was ever going to change that.

But having decided once and for all on my goal, I had absolutely no idea how I was going to achieve it. I wasn't the sort of girl who would try to seduce the Potions Master. It wasn't my style and I suspected that it wouldn't work anyway. I had a feeling that even though I was now officially an adult, having celebrated my seventeenth birthday in October, any such overture would be gently but firmly rebuffed and then I would find myself in another conversation with my Head of House, this time about inappropriate behaviour. Worse still, I might find myself removed from his classes to ensure that nothing of the sort happened again. To risk not being near Professor Snape was completely unacceptable, so for the time being I had no choice but to sit back and do nothing except enjoy my Defence Against the Dark Arts class, which for some not too surprising reason I was enjoying far more this year than I had previously.

The frustration continued at Christmas, when Blaise and Draco both decided to stay at school over the holiday. Not being exceptionally talented or a "celebrity", I didn't really appear on Professor Slughorn's radar. I had been invited to one of his early "Slug Club" lunches because I obviously showed some talent for Potions even if I wasn't as interested as I had been previously and I had attended it mainly because Hermione was going to be there. But Professor Slughorn clearly didn't feel I had what it took to be a star because I was never invited back, so, unlike Blaise, I didn't have an invitation to his Christmas party. I wasn't bothered about this as I hadn't really enjoyed his lunch much, and it wasn't as if Blaise was going to take me to the party as his partner. But it certainly bothered Draco. He, too, had been left out of the Slug Club — which, if rumours were to be believed, was because his father was a Death Eater. But unlike me, Draco appeared to be desperate to go to the party and so he had stayed at school and gate-crashed it, although not very successfully, to be honest.

Hermione had intended to take Ron but they had argued, for a change, and so instead she invited a bullish oaf from Gryffindor called Cormack McLaggan, a move she already knew was a mistake before the party even arrived. Poor Harry had suddenly become the most popular boy in school since the revelation that Voldemort really had come back had proved he wasn't the liar the Ministry of Magic had spent the previous year calling him. Instead he was now the "Chosen One", and every girl worth her salt was trying to get him to ask her to the party. Eventually he asked Luna, which I thought was a good if somewhat safe choice as they were already friends and she had absolutely no interest in him romantically. We were all aware he really wanted to be with Ginny, who was going out with Dean Thomas, and I suspect she would rather have gone to the party with Harry, too, as she and Dean weren't exactly winning any couple of the year awards. I might have been slightly more interested in the party had I known Professor Snape was going to be there — although probably not much more, because I would have been lucky to have got more than a couple minutes' conversation and an evening of wistful staring (on my part) out of it.

The true effect of Professor Slughorn's Christmas party was felt by me on Christmas Day. Blaise and Draco's decision to stay at school impacted me badly and completely ruined my whole day. I, of course, had been looking forward to sitting with Professor Snape as I always did, although I was aware that he would probably be as taciturn as ever. But on my arrival in the Great Hall I was flanked by the Slytherins, who it appeared had been waiting for me to make my entrance. Before I could get away from them and close to my beloved Potions Master, they pulled me into a seat with them, right down the other end of the table from the object of my desire. I was absolutely devastated; but not wanting to cause a scene, I had no choice but to sit where I had landed. I had to spend the whole meal gazing at Professor Snape from afar. After the meal, which I didn't really enjoy, I went straight back to my dormitory and cried for almost an hour at the unfairness of what had happened, not even considering that Blaise and Draco had almost given me a public commitment by sitting with and talking to me, even if it was only amongst the few people at the table.

I spent the rest of the year nervously watching and waiting to see what would — inevitably, I felt — happen to make Professor Snape have to give up being Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. I was seriously convinced that there was a jinx on the post and was terrified that something nasty would happen to him, and it made me fretful and moody. I eventually got over my annoyance with Blaise and Draco; I was unable to stay angry with them for something they had no idea they had even done and was once again spending time with them, although the public-acknowledgement thing had never gone any further and we were still hiding away in dusty classrooms. But as ever, being in Blaise's company had its usual calming effect on me and I didn't end up breaking down or in trouble.

Valentine's Day saw me yet again conducting stealth manoeuvres in an attempt to deliver my rose and card to my beloved Potions Master without been seen by Blaise and Draco, although I actually came quite close to being caught by Professor Snape. Unusually, he was in his classroom when I arrived and I had to duck into an alcove, where I waited and hoped he would leave. Fortunately, the Headmaster appeared and took Professor Snape away, giving me the chance to plant my gift before rapidly making my way to the Great Hall for a very late breakfast. All day long a little part of me wondered what would happen if I let my Potions Master know that it was me who had been sending him the roses all these years.

The silly teenage girl part of me that would probably have really enjoyed reading my aunt's florid romance novels thought it was a great idea and pictured the Potions Master declaring undying love for me in return, and I had to push down a rather lewd fantasy that followed. But the rather more sensible and somewhat boring part of my character cautioned heavily against allowing that to happen as it would probably be a disaster and might ruin any chance I would ever have with the snarky teacher . . . not that there was any chance, of course. But, as ever, I listened to my sensible side and put all thoughts of admitting my desire to Professor Snape firmly out of my mind.

And then yet another year was over. Amazingly, for the first time ever the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher had made it through a whole year without anything nasty happening. Professor Snape had taken on the curse of the job and beaten it. I would still have preferred him to be the Potions Master but anything was better than nothing, and at least I was assured that he would be at school when I returned next year. I headed off to the dotty aunt — maybe not happily, because I would have preferred to stay at school, but certainly more light-hearted than I had expected to be at this stage.


	8. Seventh Year

A/N: _Apologies for the slight delay in posting. Work has been mental and I've been getting home too late to do much but sleep. Thank you to everyone who is still reading and as always to my beta Mamacita._

* * *

The end of my summer holidays once again included a trip to Diagon Alley to see the twins, which boosted my spirits considerably. Time spent with Fred and George was always fun, especially when we got some time alone, and I was truly disappointed to have to leave them.

However, I was ecstatic when, upon returning to Hogwarts, I discovered that Professor Snape had returned to being the Potions Master once again. It turned out that Slughorn had only been available for a year and with his departure the job fell at my beloved Potions Master's door. Better still, at least as far as I was concerned, they hadn't yet found another Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher so he was fulfilling both roles. This was an absolute joy for me as I got to spend even more time with him but it appeared to be the worst nightmare of everyone else in the school. It was true that he was even more snarky than usual with his hugely increased workload and was quicker than ever to punish, but I was inspired and worked hard in both subjects, and was quietly confident that I was going to get excellent marks in both when I took my exams.

Of course it couldn't last; I think the Headmaster realised that most of the school was about to rebel at having to suffer so much time with Professor Snape. By Christmas Dumbledore had appointed a new teacher, who I already knew from the Order of the Phoenix. Nympahdora Tonks, or Tonks as she preferred to be known, was young, colourful, and lots of fun, although she was quite clumsy. She was also an Auror and she spent a lot of time in classes answering people's questions about the profession, as it seemed that suddenly everyone in my year who wasn't Slytherin wanted to be a Dark wizard catcher. I'll be honest: even though Tonks was a fellow Hufflepuff, being an Auror didn't appeal to me at all. It seemed far too dangerous, and whilst I understood why people like Harry and Ron would be attracted to it and probably be very good at the job, I wanted something safer.

What I wanted to do was continue in the potions field, as this was the area in which I excelled. I truly felt happy when I was working quietly, cutting, mashing, and stirring my ingredients, watching as the bubbling liquid changed colour or texture. But I didn't have a clue about how to go about obtaining a career in potions. It was possible that I could go to work in a hospital preparing potions for the Healers, or join the Ministry of Magic as they had laboratories, too, but I didn't know how to go about finding information on what qualifications were required. As far as I was concerned the ideal solution would be to stay at Hogwarts and work for Professor Snape — or marry him — but this was obviously a pipe dream and couldn't be realistically considered, at least not at this stage. I still fully intended to marry my Potions Master one day but I expected it to be at some time in the future, long after I had left school and he had forgotten that I had ever been his student.

All this worrying about my future career actually fed into a much deeper problem with which I had been trying to come to terms over the year: my fear of leaving Hogwarts. My parents were busy, currently off in South America somewhere working on a dig excavating the remains of a major Inca settlement, and had no time for me. There was no home in the UK for me to settle in, either, once I had to leave school for the final time. I wasn't keen on the idea of having to live permanently with one of my distant relatives, and although Fred and George had offered that I could go and live with them in Diagon Alley, that wasn't something I was seriously considering, especially as I was keen to stay in Mrs Weasley's good books. As ever, Blaise was around to help keep me on an even keel, although this was something I didn't really feel I could talk to even him about. It seemed so ridiculous to be scared of leaving school and this time it didn't even have anything to do with Professor Snape.

I tried to put my worries out of my mind and enjoy Christmas, the last one I would ever spend at Hogwarts. The school was quieter than usual anyway; the continuing rise of Voldemort had caused some people to withdraw their children for fear that something might happen to them considering the Dark wizard's hatred for Professor Dumbledore and Harry's continuing presence in the school. So Christmas turned the place into something of a ghost town. This, of course, was good for me as I got to sit next to Professor Snape again, although by now I was aware that there weren't any challengers for the seat.

Harry, who was staying also, was still trying to live down the title of "Chosen One" and was still being followed around everywhere by gaggles of silly, giggling girls. It seemed that even Romilda Vane's ill-fated attempt the previous year to drug him with love potion–filled chocolates that Ron had accidently eaten — and the fact that he was obviously completely in love with Ginny — hadn't stopped them from trying to attract him. The few who stayed over Christmas seemed to see it as a personal challenge to sit next to him at meals and the ensuing battles gave the rest of us a certain amount of amusement, although I couldn't help feeling a little sorry for Harry.

And then it was Valentine's Day again. This year was going far too quickly for my liking. This would be the last time I would get to place the rose and card on Professor Snape's desk, the final time I would be able to share, for just one moment, my desire for him and hopefully make his day a little better. An even larger part of me than the previous year was urging me to throw caution to the wind and allow my Potions Master some hints that I was the one who had given him these gifts. But the usual self-preservation — and probably a touch of cowardice, too — kicked in and I chickened out of doing anything that would reveal me to him.

But someone _had_ discovered my secret. Draco, who hadn't been quite so much in evidence this year having obviously got the hint that I wasn't interested in him, was still spying on me although I hadn't realised it. I took my usual precautions when delivering my gift to the dungeon classroom, as I obviously didn't want to get caught, but Draco had apparently taken his stalking of me to a whole new level and I had absolutely no idea he was there.

He found it amusing that I was enamoured of Professor Snape, which unfortunately put me in a position where I could be blackmailed. Obviously realising that I wasn't eager to share the knowledge of my desire for the Potions Master with the rest of the school due to the ridicule it would gain me — and certainly not with the man himself — Draco pulled me into an alcove after Ancient Runes one day and in a hurried whisper suggested I meet him later that day at the Room of Requirement. Although Draco and I had been getting along okay since fifth year, I had never had any desire to spend time completely alone with the blond boy, and this hadn't changed. Annoyed at his man-handling of me, I was about to launch into one of my tirades with him when he quietly added that he had seen me with my Valentine's gifts.

And so began my relationship with Draco, which if I'm being truthful about it wasn't actually much in the way of a relationship but was really just sex, although at least he was good at it. It was also completely secret: _no one_ knew what we were up to, not even Blaise. The one thing it did give me, though — finally — was someone to talk to about my love for Professor Snape. Whilst Draco couldn't understand my attraction at all, he was at least somewhat sympathetic to my plight once he realised that I was completely and utterly smitten by his scowling Head of House.

Actually, if I'm honest I really have to be grateful to Draco for stalking me so assiduously. If he hadn't blackmailed me, I wouldn't have got to know him anywhere near as well as I did and I would never have come up with the plan to capture the Potions Master and make him my husband. It's possible that my life could be completely different today. But long before I'd even thought of the plan something happened to me that was so exciting I didn't think _anything_ could ever beat it in terms of making me happy.

It hadn't started out that way though. It began with a summons to the Headmaster's office, which came completely out of the blue and scared the crap out of me. With the exception of my one detention in fifth year with the rest of Dumbledore's Army, I hadn't been in trouble since my hormonal period in the third year and I had always been careful to be polite to teachers. I couldn't imagine that I was being called to see the Headmaster because I had done something wrong, but that meant it was likely to be bad news, and the only bad news I could think of was that something had happened to my parents. So it was with a certain amount of trepidation that I entered Professor Dumbledore's office.

I was surprised to see Professor Snape in attendance. For a moment my stomach flipped as I wondered whether I had finally been caught out. Professor Dumbledore soon put my mind at rest and confirmed that I wasn't there because I was in trouble or because of tragedy. Instead I discovered that the hard work I had put in during Potions was about to pay off big-time and that all my worries would be solved in one fell swoop. Between the two of them, the Headmaster and the Potions Master explained that they wanted to offer me an apprenticeship with Professor Snape, which would enable me to both further my study of potions and allow me to stay at Hogwarts. I'm sure you can imagine how ecstatic I was at this news. It was as if every wish I had ever made had all been granted in one go. I was on top of the world when I left the office. I had been warned that the offer was dependent on me achieving excellent marks in my exams, but I knew I would. Nothing would stop me from getting this. I was going to be given rooms in the dungeons near to Professor Snape's and he was going to allow me to use his private laboratory for my study periods. It wasn't quite marriage but it was as close as I was going to get in the short term. It would give me the chance to get to know my Potions Master even better, and him to get to know me as something other than a student. And the icing on the cake? I didn't even have to leave Hogwarts during the summer holidays. It couldn't have been any more perfect.

I didn't share my news with most people as I didn't want to jinx the post but I did tell Blaise and Draco. Blaise was a little surprised at how excited I was. He obviously wasn't aware of the implications, nor of my fear of leaving school. But Draco understood completely. My need to ensure that my N.E.W.T.s were good enough meant even more studying, especially since there were only about six weeks left until the exams. Of course I wanted to spend every spare minute on my studies, but neither Blaise nor Draco would accept that. Although I liked being with them I was beginning to get annoyed with both of them because I felt they were trying to take up too much of my precious time. But Blaise was his usual calming self, always able to soothe my tired and troubled mind; and Draco, whilst anything but calming, gave me something no one else ever could have done. And what he gave me was what led to my cunning plan being conceived.

During one of our many trysts, Draco had mentioned — jokingly, I hoped — that he was thinking of marrying me. I pointed out to him that even if we put aside my deep and abiding love for Professor Snape, which made me unavailable to anyone else, the chances of him and me getting married were pretty remote when he wasn't even willing to talk to me in the public areas of the school, and I was sure his parents might have something to say about it, too. He confided in me about some work that his father was doing for the Ministry of Magic and a new law that was going to be coming into force in a few years time which would, in effect, allow a pure-blood to marry a Muggle-born without any fear of reprisals. I immediately told Draco that he could forget any idea he had of involving me in this new law but whilst I lay alone in bed that night my mind started running through the implications of it. And so the first vague tendrils of my plan began to come together.

The closer the exams got, the less time I spent with Blaise and Draco and the more time I spent locked up in the Library studying with Hermione. But I couldn't stop thinking about the new marriage law. I began to see a way that I might possibly be able to use it to my advantage, if I could get Draco to agree to help me. It was a risk, but what is life without a little risk now and again? The next time Draco and I got together I discussed my idea with him and was pleased to find that he was happy to help. I'll be honest: I wasn't sure his intentions were entirely honourable. But he had agreed to help me and that was all that mattered as far as I was concerned. All I needed to do now was to sit back, revise for my exams, then wait for the new law to come into force and we could put my plan into action.

My idea was that Draco would put in a contract for me. I would be horrified — so upset, in fact, that the Headmaster and hopefully my Potions Master would feel duty bound to help me escape from Draco's evil clutches. This was obviously going to take place after I had worked with Professor Snape for quite a while and he had got to know me properly as a real adult rather than as a student, which hopefully with a little gentle flirting on my part would make him realise there could be something between us.

For his part, Draco was going to start taking a "sudden" interest in me just before we left school, which hopefully Professor Snape would find suspicious. Then, once school was over, there would be no further contact between Draco and me at all until the contract came through, which should be enough to raise my Potions Master's suspicions about why Draco was so eager to marry me when he hadn't seen me since leaving school. This would then hopefully see him stepping into the breach to stop the union.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. You think it wasn't very well thought through and that it was never going to work — and you're probably right. I think we can admit that it _was_ a cunning plan, although maybe in the style of Baldrick from Blackadder rather than anything cleverer. But it was rather shaky to say the least and unless I had some decent luck it wasn't guaranteed to work. But for me it was worth the chance, especially as at that stage I was looking at it being a long term project and I was happy to wait.

The thing you have to remember is that I had been in love with Severus Snape for so many years by then that I was willing to grab hold of any opportunity that presented itself, however slim the chance might be, and the new marriage law was definitely too good an opportunity to miss, in my opinion. In fact, the only bit I was really worried about was that if I couldn't somehow manage to woo the Potions Master I would end up married to Draco, unless I could convince him to cancel the contract — which I had a sneaking suspicion I wouldn't be able to — or find another way out of it. But even that possibility wasn't enough to stop me from acting upon my plan.

And then fortune favoured me again with the announcement that there was to be a Summer Ball after the exams had finished. This would give Draco the perfect opportunity to show off his newly acquired interest in me to its fullest extent, and hopefully give my Potions Master the push he needed in the right direction. To be honest, I was having trouble getting excited about the Ball because the exams were more important to me but I know it was the main topic of conversation around the school for the entire time leading up to it. I was interested to learn that the Ball was going to be open to former pupils as well as current ones, as that gave me the chance to get my beloved twins back. I had absolutely no intention of going to the Ball with Draco, although he was going to ask me purely so that Professor Snape could see his sudden interest. As it turned out, this, too, unfortunately opened me up to something I had never expected.

By the time of the exams I was on total lock-down, absolutely refusing to do or think about anything but my studies. So it was only after my final exam that I discovered my plan appeared to be working. Draco collared me the day after my last exam and said he needed to talk to me and wanted to spend a little time catching up on what we had missed because of exams. During our quality time together he told me he had discussed with Blaise his decision to ask me to the Summer Ball and had made sure it was fairly well heard around the Slytherin common room. Blaise had been a little surprised at his confession, although not completely; apparently he had always been sure Draco fancied me, but he wasn't at all sure that taking me to the Ball was a sensible proposition.

It wasn't long before Professor Snape caught up with the pair of them and gave them a lecture on appropriate Ball partners. Draco told the Potions Master he was going to ask me and Snape refused to allow it, telling him I wasn't suitable. This was reiterated when Blaise then suggested that Draco could go with Pansy and he would go with me instead; Professor Snape was dead set against that idea, as well. This was encouraging stuff, but I was hoping nervously that the reason he felt I wasn't suitable was because he was trying to protect me from the pure-blood Slytherins rather than because he actually didn't think me suitable.


	9. The Ball and After

As expected, Fred and George both asked me to the Ball. As ever, I was not willing to choose between them, so I agreed to go with both of them — although, knowing them, I'm sure that was pretty much what they expected. Now that the exams were over I was as excited about the Ball as all the other girls and I spent a lot of time with Hermione and Ginny, who were going with Ron and Harry, planning what we were going to wear. When the twins told me they intended to wear purple, I couldn't help laughing. It would clash so badly with their hair but was exactly their style, so I chose my outfit to match. I think we and Luna, who had come with us to the robe shop in Hogsmeade, spent almost all day trying on dresses and deciding on accessories, but we finally chose. On the evening of the Ball we congregated just inside the door of the Great Hall with our partners. I was wearing a pale lavender dress with a full, flaring skirt, which showed off my hour-glass figure without accentuating those bits I was less keen on, and I had done something with my hair for once, making it a bit fluffy and adding an Alice band with a huge purple flower on it. Ginny had chosen a strapless dark green velvet gown that set off her vivid red hair amazingly; Luna was wearing her favourite colour, silver, her long blonde hair shining; and Hermione looked absolutely stunning in a simple pale blue dress, her usually wild hair tamed into an elaborate plait.

I hadn't had much chance to speak to Draco before the Ball as Professor Snape had been keeping a close eye on him, but he had indicated that he would do something to try to attract the Potion Master's attention and I should be ready to play to it. I had noticed both Draco and Blaise leaning against a pillar, looking incredibly handsome in their good-quality dress robes, and whilst I was happy to be with the twins, to be honest a few naughty thoughts crossed my mind about those Slytherin boys. But then I saw Professor Snape and all thoughts of anyone but him disappeared into the ether. He was dressed in the same way he always dresses, although in slightly finer fabrics than his everyday clothes, with jet and silver buttons that glinted in the candlelight. To me he looked absolutely perfect.

I was soon drawn into interesting conversation with the rest of our group and forgot all about the Slytherins until during the dancing when, whilst I was waltzing with Harry, Draco came and cut in, leading me rapidly away from my friends and towards the far end of the hall where the Slytherins had all congregated. At first this was fine; I had no problem dancing with Draco. After all, he and I were lovers, even if that was a secret. And of course it was helping, I hoped, to put my Potions Master on his guard. But within minutes the whole scene changed and I no longer felt quite so comfortable with what was happening.

After muttering a hurried apology for what was about to happen, Draco ceded me to his father, a man I had never personally met until that point, although I had seen him talking to Professor Snape at plenty of Slytherin Quidditch matches over the years. Mr Malfoy, who was at least as handsome as his son, introduced himself politely and asked me to call him Lucius, but for some reason that I couldn't explain his smile scared the hell out of me and I didn't like the way he pressed against me while we danced. Although he was scrupulously polite, I couldn't help shuddering; and whilst he wasn't menacing in his conversation, he somehow managed to make his interest in me absolutely clear — and confirmed it when he pressed his quite obvious erection against my hip and held me just a little too tightly.

I have to admit I was a little confused by what was happening. I had expected Draco to dance with me and maybe cause a scene that would get my Potions Master to react, but passing me to his father when the man was quite clearly sexually aroused by me was taking things a step too far. But now I was segregated from my friends in the Slytherin area of the hall; the Slytherins had always been good at keeping to themselves and this evening was no different. No one was coming forward to take Lucius' place, which meant I was stuck dancing with him and I was becoming genuinely worried by his reaction to me.

He began to whisper in my ear, telling me how beautiful I was and other things that made me cringe, as his hand stroked down my back, his fingers caressing my spine, making me wish the back of my dress wasn't quite so low. Every so often his lips would brush against my neck, and all the while he held me pressed close against him and that hardness that was a constant reminder of his desire. Occasionally he would stop with the seduction for a moment to look at me, and I knew for certain that I never wanted to be left alone with this man, not even for one minute. I had never been the recipient of such blatant and unwanted sexual attention, and the longer it continued the more I could feel panic rising within me that I wasn't going to be able to escape from him.

And then everything changed. Suddenly Professor Snape was there and he was cutting in and taking me away from Lucius, telling him it was time he danced with his apprentice. Ordinarily I would have been over the moon to dance with my Potions Master anyway, but with the way Lucius had made me feel I could almost have wept at Professor Snape's feet with gratitude for rescuing me. I sank happily into his arms as he led me back towards the other end of the room and my friends. He was a graceful dancer and I would have very much liked to continue dancing with him forever but it appeared that his only interest had been getting me away from Lucius. Once we reached my companions he released me, instructing the twins to keep a close eye on me to ensure I didn't get taken away again. And then he was gone, back to join the Slytherins, leaving me feeling a touch disappointed but also relieved to be back with my friends.

Fred and George, sweethearts that they are, took Snape's words very seriously and although we continued to dance neither one of them let go of me at any point. They did suggest that we leave the Ball and do something more interesting instead but I needed to see if anything else was going to happen with Professor Snape; so, tempting as the idea was, I declined.

And then Draco set things off again. To be honest, I've no idea whether he did it on purpose or if it was just Pansy overreacting, but suddenly she was screeching at him, accusing him of only being interested in "the filthy Mudblood", which I guessed was me. Draco was quite blasé about it all but Professor Snape was angrier than I had seen him for ages. He snapped at the twins that they weren't keeping me safe and seemed to think I was too close to the action so we moved nearer to the Headmaster, still watching as the Potions Master seriously berated Draco and Pansy, giving them both detention and even taking House points. I had never seen anything like it, not in relation to the Slytherins anyway. Neither had anyone else judging by the conversation that swept the room after Professor Snape dismissed them to join their fellow Slytherins at the far end of the hall.

To be honest, the rest of the evening was fairly tame after that excitement although I had a good time. There was no more interaction with the Slytherins, who, it appeared, seemed happy enough to stay down at the far end of the Great Hall. I saw Lucius look at me on his way out at the end of the evening and once again the licentiousness of his gaze made me shudder, but he didn't try to speak to me, for which I was grateful because I had no desire to have to be pleasant to him. Draco looked at me, too, just for a moment and I knew he wanted to talk to me, wanted to explain what had happened. But I was too tired and too wrapped up with my friends — and with Fred and George in particular — to want to follow up on that, knowing it could wait until later. So I turned away, indicating that I would catch up with him the following day.

Draco was extremely apologetic when I saw him the following afternoon. He explained that his father had heard about Draco's discussion with Blaise in the Slytherin common room and been determined to meet me, wanting to know who the Muggle-born was who had taken his son's interest enough that he would defy convention and invite me to the Ball. Draco was rather more upset about it than I expected, but he admitted he wasn't very happy that his father had taken rather more of an interest in me than he would have liked. He then proceeded to spend the next ten minutes or so telling me all about his father's sexual proclivities, which did absolutely nothing to reassure me or make me like the man any better, I'll be honest. He then added that Lucius had been unhappy about Professor Snape's intervention, which had, according to Draco, made him even more determined to have me.

Suddenly Lucius was an unwanted player in my game to catch the Potions Master, but whilst it wasn't a pleasant thought and the idea of being intimate with the scary blond man didn't appeal at all, I was finding it a little hard to be too upset about that when he had inadvertently galvanised Professor Snape into acting on my behalf. If I was lucky, this could be just what my plan needed to succeed. I just had to be really careful how I proceeded from here on out.

The last day was a sad one for all of us in the seventh year, I think. My Hufflepuff friends and I spent a couple of hours or so in the common room, saying goodbye and exchanging addresses after reliving some of our best times at the school. We then joined the other Houses in the Great Hall where we sat down to our final leaving feast. We listened intently to the Headmaster, with a small feeling of wistfulness as he talked about the summer holidays getting our heads nice and empty of all that we had learned that year since we knew that unlike the rest of the school, we wouldn't be back to have them filled again the following year.

Except that I would.

I wasn't even going to be going on the Hogwarts Express but would be missing out on that final trip with my friends, which was a little disappointing — but not much. Instead I would be moving into my new quarters in the dungeons, preparing myself for my new role as apprentice. But even though I wasn't leaving I was still as acutely aware as everyone else in my year that it was the end of an era and I was just as upset as the rest of the seventh years when we all said our final goodbyes in the entrance hall of the castle before everyone headed towards the station for the last time, some people still singing the Hogwarts School Song as they went, as if determined not to say goodbye.

I had spent quite some time with Harry, Ron and Hermione, and also with Neville, who I had long forgiven for his slight on my beloved Potions Master and who, with his cheeky expression, never failed to cheer me up. We had exchanged the usual promises to keep in touch but I knew that the only one I would likely hear from would be Hermione. I might get to see Harry and Ron occasionally if I went to visit Fred and George, but none of the boys would keep in touch once they had left school grounds.

I didn't, of course, speak to Blaise or Draco but I had said a long and, if I'm honest, very tearful goodbye to Blaise the night before we left and was fairly content that we had little else to say to each other, although there would always be something between us. Draco I hadn't spoken to, but I had arranged to meet him in Diagon Alley the following week as I needed to go shopping anyway. By then everything would have calmed down and I would be somewhat settled into my new life.

And so it was that I ended my final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry without any sign of a trip to distant relatives.


	10. School Holidays

The long weeks of the usually boring summer holidays rolled along and I was finally doing what I had dreamed of so many times in the past: I was brewing potions in the dungeon with my Potions Master. Professor Snape had a lot to do during the holidays and I was only too happy to settle into the role of apprentice immediately and help him with making potions. I didn't need a holiday or time to get myself together. I was ready, as I think I probably had been since I was eleven if I was honest, to devote the rest of my life to my beloved Severus Snape.

And it was absolutely great. The work was hard but not onerous, and whilst we didn't converse much while we were working, we got on really well. I was delighted when Professor Snape asked me to have dinner with him in his private quarters. We were brewing so many potions that we had utilised every available work bench in both his classroom and his private laboratory, and as some of them were time-critical it made sense to eat there rather than in the Great Hall, especially as Hagrid and the Headmaster were the only other residents still at school. Before long we were eating almost every meal there, conversing about potions or other matters of the day that we had read about in the _Daily Prophet_, which was delivered to us both every morning over breakfast.

One evening after a particularly long day of potion making, when we were enjoying a bottle of wine together, the conversation changed from the usual to something that really surprised me. It turned out that Lucius Malfoy had invited Professor Snape and me to his summer garden party. Remembering Lucius' reaction to me at the Ball and what Draco had told me about his "interests", I have to admit my stomach sank at the thought of having to spend any more time in Lucius' company. But Professor Snape told me that whilst he understood my reluctance it was rather a difficult situation and Lucius would be sure to be offended if I didn't go, which could potentially cause problems in the long run. He wasn't pushy, though, and said that the choice to go or not was mine; he would be happy to make my excuses if I preferred not to attend.

By that point my brain was firing on all cylinders and I could see that this was a potential opportunity to further cement both my relationship with Professor Snape, which whilst not yet romantic was going really well in my opinion, and to face down Lucius with the Potions Master at my side. So I agreed to go, but only on the strict understanding that I wasn't to be left alone with Lucius or Draco at any point. And I think I quite impressed Professor Snape with that decision as it showed I wasn't the wimpy Hufflepuff he had always assumed I was.

And so it was that on a lovely hot August afternoon, Professor Snape and I, he still dressed in his usual black robes which must have been baking, and I in a pretty pale green summer dress, left the school grounds so we could Apparate to Malfoy Manor. It was the first time I had ever travelled by Side-along Apparition. I found it to be slightly more disorientating than normal Apparating, but that might have been because my beloved Potions Master had wrapped his arm around my waist, so I was already rather light-headed.

To be honest, the garden party was a strange mixture of delightful and scary. It seemed that a great many of Lucius' guests weren't entirely sure what to make of Professor Snape and me. There was a good deal of whispering about us, which I found quite unsettling. Lucius was unstintingly gracious, immediately complimenting me on how beautiful I looked, although the look he gave me as he said it made my stomach curl and I wasn't entirely sure it was in a good way. Although nothing was said, the atmosphere between Lucius and Professor Snape was palpable from the minute they got together and continued building the whole time we were there.

Once we arrived, Lucius insisted on keeping us company for the entire party. I say us, because I took Professor Snape's arm during our first introduction to Lucius and refused point-blank to let go regardless of how much Lucius attempted to get me to. And he really did try. I have to give him credit for that. Initially he introduced Professor Snape to several new people and then tried to lead me away so he could have a conversation alone with me. But if there was one thing I was completely certain of, it was that I had absolutely no intention of spending even one second alone with Lucius Malfoy. Although he was incredibly handsome and I will admit his interest was very flattering in a strange sort of way — after all, who couldn't fail to be a little swayed at the knowledge that one of the most powerful men in the country wanted to make love to you — he really wasn't my type. And after what Draco had told me about what Lucius enjoyed doing sexually, I had no desire to be in a position where I would be on the receiving end of his attention.

At one point Professor Snape asked him where his wife was and Lucius' smile faltered for just a second. He rallied magnificently, though, and completely changed the subject, suggesting that he and I should take a walk around his gardens as they were in spectacular and colourful form and were definitely worth seeing. The inference was that we would go alone, the tour being of no interest to Professor Snape who had surely seen the gardens many times, but that wasn't happening either. When I replied that "we" would love to see the gardens, and with Professor Snape showing no sign of leaving me, Lucius changed his mind.

Obviously realising that he wasn't going to separate me from my Potions Master to spend time with me, Lucius then suggested that I go and talk to Draco whilst he discussed some private business with Professor Snape. Normally I would have been happy to talk to Draco, even though we weren't supposed to be friends, but I didn't want to be separated from Professor Snape. I had a suspicion that I would suddenly find myself alone, and not with Draco but with his father. However, wanting to give him a few minutes in case he really did want to talk business, I headed over to chat to a group of middle-aged women who were sitting at a table drinking punch, thinking I would be safe with them.

I soon discovered that I was talking to the mothers of some the Slytherins I'd gone to school with, including Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson's mums. They were all fascinated by me and especially by my relationship with Professor Snape who, according to these women, anyway, had never brought a woman to one of Lucius' parties before and was notorious for having no interest in relationships; or at least not ones that lasted longer than one night. Depending on who you spoke to, it seemed Professor Snape was either a monk or a bit of a slut. I wasn't sure which fascinated me more.

True fact: there's nothing like a bunch of sexually frustrated woman for gossiping and it was pretty clear that these women were exactly that. They were determined to weasel out of me what our relationship really was. Having had a few glasses of the rather strong punch that was being doled out a little too freely, and thus feeling a tad wicked by that time, I may have given the impression that there was slightly more to the relationship between me and Professor Snape than was strictly true. Of course they jumped on it and before long I was confiding, in the strictest confidence of course, that Severus Snape was a truly wonderful lover. My Potions Master's stock rose dramatically as far as the women were concerned and I could see several of them giving him appraising glances as they breathlessly hung on my every word, excited to hear how considerate and kind he was and how hard he made me come — _every_ time we made love. I honestly thought that at least two of them were going to faint from excitement when he came over to join us. I had no choice but to change the subject, hence reminding the women that our conversation was supposed to be confidential.

That really was the best part of the afternoon, as far as I was concerned. With the tension still building between Lucius and Professor Snape, we left fairly shortly afterwards, having stayed for as little time as we could politely get away with. I didn't really think any more about what I had told the women as it had just been a bit of a joke. But in the end it actually turned out to be quite useful.

But then two days before school was due to start, everything that had been going so right suddenly went completely wrong.

The day began well enough. The teachers had returned to the castle and it was, so Professor Snape told me, the custom to have a breakfast meeting with the Headmaster to discuss what lay in the year ahead and talk through any problems remaining from the previous one. It was as we were relaxing after the meal that the post owls arrived and we had the first inkling that something was up. We all received copies of the _Daily Prophet_ and on opening them we all saw the huge banner heading and article that took up the whole of the first page. It was the announcement of the introduction of Lucius' new marriage law.

It was weird to see in print something that Draco and I had talked about what seemed like so long ago. It was also a little troubling. For starters, I hadn't expected it to come into force quite so quickly. Draco had given the impression that it was going to be many months if not years before it would be agreed upon, let alone implemented. As I scanned the article I was a bit worried at how biased it seemed to be towards pure-bloods — although I suppose I shouldn't have been, knowing who was behind it. I wasn't keen on the part where it said that a pure-blood would have full legal power over a Muggle-born; that sounded suspiciously like we would be subjugated by this new betrothal contract. They didn't even call it a marriage, because it so clearly wasn't going to be the equal partnership that marriage implies.

But then things got nasty rather quickly. Almost before we had finished reading the article another owl appeared, and it was carrying a letter for me. As I looked at the envelope bearing the official Ministry seal my heart sank. I was sure I knew what it was. Opening the envelope I scanned the contents and my heart sank even lower as I read the words that confirmed what I had been dreading: that Draco had petitioned for a betrothal contract and I had to go to the Ministry of Magic on 29 September to complete the ceremony. I was still trying to process what had gone wrong when Professor Snape, who was sitting next to me as ever, pulled the letter from my hands and read it out loud to the shocked teachers.

I wanted to be alone to think about what had happened and to contact Draco; instead I had teachers fussing around me, all being sympathetic and annoying, whilst the school nurse kept trying to give me a calming potion I really didn't need. Although I was shocked by the letter I wasn't surprised, if you know what I mean. Suddenly I could see my cunning plan, which had been going surprisingly well until now, crumbling around me. I hadn't spent anywhere near enough time with Professor Snape for him to feel protective enough to want to save me from betrothal to Draco. There was nothing I could do to get out of it. The article in the paper had made that quite clear. Eventually the Headmaster sent me back down to the dungeons, thankfully, to continue with making potions whilst he and Professor Snape took my letter and went to his office.

When Professor Snape returned some time later he sat me down to talk to me about the letter. He assured me the Headmaster was going to talk to the Ministry of Magic about the contract to see what could be done to stop it, and that they would update me as soon as they had some information. He told me he was sure there would be a solution and that I wasn't to worry. But to be honest, I was worried. Although Draco and I had agreed that he would apply for a contract, it was never meant to be as soon as the law came into force. He had agreed to wait until I told him my Potions Master was ready. The fact that this contract notice had come through now meant something had gone very wrong. I needed to talk to Draco to find out what.

As soon as I got a free moment I sent Gylfie to Draco with a note saying I needed to see him. It was a risk meeting up with him, because if I was seen it could cause all sorts of problems, but I needed to know why he had ruined our plan. As I thought about it further, a possible reason became clear, but it wasn't something I wanted to dwell on and fervently hoped wasn't right. The following morning I slipped out of school to meet him, Apparating to Diagon Alley where we were less likely to be spotted as it was far busier than Hogsmeade, especially the day before school was due to start, and we could blend in better.

As soon as I saw Draco I knew something was wrong. Within a couple of minutes of talking, the worry that had been eating away at me since the letter had come was proved to be justified. Lucius had put forward the petition in Draco's name, knowing I couldn't refuse. Once I was at Malfoy Manor I would be at his mercy, under his control, even if I was betrothed to Draco. His growing obsession for me, increased apparently by Professor Snape's earlier attempts to keep me safe, had reached fever pitch and he was determined to have me, whatever it took. Draco apologised to me profusely but I knew it wasn't his fault. I was the one who had conceived the stupid plan. Although it was Draco's actions that had brought me to his father's attention he had only done what I had asked him to do. I had taken a chance and lost and now I would have to pay for it. Although we didn't talk about it we both knew that if no way was found to break the contract Draco wouldn't be able to stop his father and my life would get much worse than I could ever have considered.

Back at school I fretted constantly about what was going to happen, running through every possibility in my mind. I actually laughed when I remembered how I had thought the worst thing that could happen was ending up married to Draco. Now that seemed like a wonderful opportunity, but one that wasn't going to happen to me. I would be his betrothed in name only. In body I would belong to Lucius. I have to be honest and say that at one point I considered talking to the twins, sure that they would help me as they, too, were pure-blood. But whilst they — and by they I mean probably George — would be more than happy to enter into a contract with me, I wouldn't be able to give him what he needed in return. I was in love with Severus Snape, and everything I had done had been to become his wife, not anyone else's. It wasn't fair to drag other people into my mess just because it wasn't turning out the way I had hoped it would. For a moment Blaise had crossed my mind, too, but really it was only a flicker. Nice as he was, Blaise hadn't even wanted to admit he knew me when we were at school, so he was hardly likely to want to marry me now. The truth was that I just had to accept the inevitable and gird myself in readiness for life as Lucius' mistress.


	11. The Wedding

I heard nothing for over a week. At first there was the hustle and bustle of the start of school, with the grand feast and the sorting of the new first years, and then there was the start of lessons and the beginning of my own training plan. But as time went on I began to realise that everyone I spoke to was carefully not mentioning anything about the betrothal contract. It was turning into the elephant in the room, looming where everyone could see it, but no one wanted to admit it was there. I was heartily glad when I was finally called to the Headmaster's office. Even if the news was bad and I was going to be betrothed to Draco, at least it would be out of the way and things could go back to normal, or at least as normal as possible under the circumstances.

I had wondered several times whether I should admit what I had done, that Lucius' interest in me had come about because of my plan and that he was the real reason I now had a contract with Draco but it didn't seem worth the effort. Professor Snape had already tried to protect me from Lucius several times and it hadn't worked. The only way for him to protect me this time was to marry me, but now that the new law had been enacted I didn't think that was possible, even if he was willing — and that would have been a very big ask, and one that even though we had now worked together for a little while and got on well I didn't think I could do. Anyway, now, according to the law I had to be betrothed to a pure-blood, and Professor Snape was only half-blood.

As I sat in the Headmaster's office eating coffee and walnut cake and drinking tea as if we were having some kind of party, Professor Dumbledore tried to assure me that there were options. First he asked me whether I wanted to marry Draco, to which I responded adamantly — of course I didn't want him . . . or his father. I wasn't sure whether they understood the subtext of what I was saying with my comment, but from the way he replied the Headmaster sounded like he did.

He went on to explain to me all about the contract and what he had discovered from the Ministry of Magic. It didn't make me any more hopeful, to be honest. In fact, if anything it made me realise just why Lucius was so determined that I should be betrothed to Draco. The law stated that _any_ pure-blood could have a contract; but if Lucius, prominent wizard that he was and married to the lovely Narcissa, had petitioned for me, there would be questions asked — or at the very least, eyebrows raised — and it would have been obvious why he wanted me. Instead he had put his son forward to hide his own involvement. But part of the law that had been omitted from the _Daily Prophet_ article, probably because they knew of the uproar it would cause, was that the betrothal ceremony contained a binding ritual that bonded the betrotheds' magic, giving the controlling pure-blood partner access to the Muggle-born's magic against their will. I understood what the Headmaster was telling me. Not only would Lucius gain a sexual partner but he would gain my magic, too; and although he couldn't use it directly as he wouldn't be bonded to me, he would control Draco and use it that way. And whilst it wasn't explicitly mentioned, I think all of us in the office that afternoon were pretty sure it would be used to help further Voldemort's cause, and probably Lucius' own.

I have to admit that I was even unhappier at this news than I was already. My entire life and power were going to be shackled to the Malfoys and there was nothing I could do to stop it. But the Headmaster wasn't so pessimistic. He had discovered that whilst the new law had come into effect, contrary to what I had assumed they hadn't yet made it so that I was unable to marry anyone else. I was still governed by the terms of the contract, but I wasn't _only _governed by the terms of the contract. If I could find someone to marry I could choose to take them instead. They didn't even have to be pure-blood. For a moment my heart began to beat faster at the thought that I could get out of this, but then I realised I was still in the same situation. It wasn't fair to ask Fred or George, and there was no one else.

Then came the moment I had dreamed of for so long; yet when it happened, it didn't even seem as if it was real.

Professor Snape asked me to marry him.

Yep, that's right — Professor Snape, my beloved Potions Master, the man with whom I had been head-over-heels in love for so many years and plotting to marry, asked me to be his wife.

I was so surprised I could do nothing but smile in wonder for a moment and nod, but then I managed to whisper, "Yes."

I'll be honest: his original proposal was a little stilted and not really what I'd fantasised about for all those years. So I asked him to ask me again, properly — and he did.

And I said yes again, this time crying because my dream was finally coming true.

I had no idea how this miracle had happened, but I gathered that he and the Headmaster had known about Lucius' part in the betrothal contract — although probably not about my plan — and were determined that he wasn't getting hold of me, whatever they had to do to prevent it. After everything, I actually had Lucius to thank for my Potions Master finally becoming my husband.

And then everything was a bit of a blur as I was floating on cloud nine, happier than I had been in a long time. I remember kissing my beloved Potions Master on the cheek, my arms wrapped around his neck as I hugged him, wanting him to know how great this was.

Professor Dumbledore seemed almost as happy about it as I was and was soon discussing our wedding, which seemed mental to me as I was still having trouble believing that this was really happening. But it was. We agreed to a small service and my mind was filled with a vision of my Potions Master, looking so commanding and dramatic in his wonderful black frock coat and robe, and me in the wedding dress I had pictured for almost as long as I had been planning our wedding in my mind.

And so it was that only three days later, on Saturday, 12 September 1998, I, Sarah Steadman, aka the luckiest girl in the world, tied the knot with my wonderful Potions Master, Severus Snape, in possibly the smallest ceremony ever held. In a registry office similar to those found in the Muggle world, the man I had been in love with for so many years promised to be my husband in front of the requisite two witnesses, Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall, and our one guest, my Head of House and to some extent surrogate mother, Pomona Sprout, and I promised to be his wife. I know you're thinking it sounds pretty grim, especially considering how long I had been envisioning this moment, but the truth was it was absolutely perfect. I really didn't need any more than this.

I had already decided not to invite my parents as they were probably too busy to come anyway and, selfish as they are, would likely try to get me to change the date of my wedding to something more suitable for them, which would then involve a long conversation about why I was getting married so quickly and to whom. Whilst they might understand, it was easier for everyone if we just did it and then faced up to the relatives later. I would have liked to have invited some of my Hufflepuff friends and the Golden Trio, Ginny, Luna, Neville, and the twins, too, although I would have had quite a lot of explaining to do, with the twins especially, as I had never shared my desire for Severus, as I could now call him, with any of them. But time was of the essence, and not just with regard to the contract, although it was still a couple of weeks before that was due. But more importantly, there was a worry that Lucius would realise he had left me an escape route and attempt to do something to fix it, and the longer we took organising and the more people we invited, the more chance there was of him finding out and stopping the wedding.

As I just wanted to be married to Severus, I was quite happy to forgo the larger wedding in order to get it done quickly. I had known which dress I wanted to wear ever since I had smelt the Amortentia and realised that the Potions Master was meant to be my husband and it was a matter of only a few hours with Madam Malkin in Diagon Alley before my perfect wedding gown was completed. I was as excited as a six-year-old waiting for the arrival of Father Christmas. But although I was excited, I wasn't quite as happy as I should have been and that was because a little nagging part of me that I was trying desperately to ignore kept pointing out that my beloved Potions Master wasn't marrying me because he wanted to but because there was no other way of stopping the contract with Draco. Yes, I know this is what my entire cunning plan had been about but now it came to it I was desperate for our marriage not to be a sham. I wanted to be married to Severus in every way and I wanted him to want to be with me, too. Of course I was hugely grateful that he cared about me enough to do this for me but it was quite sad that there wouldn't be anything more between us.

I wasn't sure whether the slight reticence I had detected in him was due to his lack of interest in me — after all, I hadn't had anywhere near the time I had expected to allow my Potions Master to realise how wonderful I was — or whether he assumed I was only marrying him because I had no other choice. If it was the first, there was nothing I could do about that, at least not in the short term but I was sure that once we had been together for a while he might begin to change his mind and realise it could work out between us. If it was the second and he honestly believed he had nothing to offer me apart from freedom from the Malfoys, I hoped I would be able to change his mind on that pretty quickly. I _knew_ he was perfect husband material. I just had to convince him of it.

As we were leaving the registry office, the Headmaster told us he had arranged a little celebration for us. I was delighted, still on a high after the wedding service and not yet quite believing that I was really Mrs Sarah Snape even though I had both the ring and the signed certificate, currently residing in Severus' pocket, to prove it. Severus looked every bit as dashing and even, dare I say it, as handsome, to me at least, as I had always imagined, and for once I felt I, too, was looking my best. The dress was every bit as lovely as I had hoped it would be. But Severus didn't seem to be that happy at the idea of a celebration, and my happy mood deflated slightly at this reminder that he was only marrying me because he had to. I wanted to shout to the entire world that my beloved Potions Master and I were finally husband and wife but there was he was reminding us that it was supposed to be a secret. I couldn't see why it had to stay a secret now. We were married and there was nothing Lucius could do about it. There was absolutely no reason, as far as I could see, anyway, not to celebrate in whatever way Professor Dumbledore had organised and I told Severus that.

Looking uneasy, he grudgingly admitted that it probably wouldn't be a problem but then explained that until we had consummated the marriage it could potentially be annulled if Lucius were to make a legal challenge. To be honest, I didn't really understand the problem as I had been assuming that there would be plenty of consummating going on after the celebration. It was only then that I realised that whilst Severus had married me, he'd had no intention of consummating the marriage unless Lucius made it impossible to do otherwise.

I will admit that this came as something of a blow. I had spent the previous four-odd years fantasising about having sex with my beloved Potions Master and it hadn't occurred to me for one moment that he wasn't willing to do the deed. Once again hoping that it wasn't because he couldn't stand me but was trying to be honourable or something, I looked him straight in the eye and told him this was a problem that could easily be overcome and that if the Headmaster was willing to delay the celebration for a little while we could get it out of the way immediately. I have to admit my heart was racing as I said it, a little surprised at how forward I was being even if Severus was my husband now and also worried that he would turn me down and our few guests would know he really didn't want me.

He did try to protest for a moment, telling me there was no need to rush things, but now that it had been brought up I wanted to be married properly and I didn't want to wait. Seven years of desire welled up inside me and so I asked him if he intended to annul the marriage, which obviously surprised him. When he shook his head to confirm that he wasn't, I pointed out that in that case there was absolutely no reason for us to wait. And then I did something I had never done before — I admitted to him, quietly, just how much I wanted him.

I don't know if it was this that made him capitulate or whether it was the Headmaster's happy assertion that the celebrations could easily wait for a few hours, but eventually Severus agreed. My heart was beating fit to burst when he told me he would take me to the place he lived when he wasn't at Hogwarts. This was it. Finally, after all the years of waiting, my Potions Master was taking me home. Every bit of joy I should have been feeling erupted, no longer containable by my frail human body.

And so we Apparated, Side-along again which wasn't quite so disorientating this time as I was now used to being held by Severus, to Spinner's End, which I discovered was in a dour northern Muggle town called Cokeworth. I didn't care where it was, nor that it appeared to have been in need of major re-decoration for about fifty years. As far as I was concerned it was absolutely perfect and the bedroom, in which we spent several incredible and extremely pleasurable hours, especially so.

The consummation of our marriage was everything I had hoped it would be and more, although there was that awkwardly sticky moment when I had to admit that I wasn't a virgin. Severus was slightly more interested than I had expected him to be in knowing who it was who had done the deed. Actually, he didn't seem that surprised when I told him it was George. Fortunately he never asked who else I had slept with, so I didn't have make the difficult choice of whether to lie to him or admit that I had been much more intimate with Draco than I had made out. By the time we returned to school I felt far more optimistic about the chance of our marriage being a real one. I have to admit I had been reluctant to leave Spinner's End to go back to Hogwarts, as I was having such a good time, but Severus reminded me that I had agreed to the Headmaster's celebration so we had no choice but to attend.

Professor Dumbledore's idea of a small celebration certainly wasn't what I had anticipated, and upon seeing Severus' expression when we entered the Great Hall I knew it most definitely wasn't his. I had been expecting something quiet and understated with the teachers and maybe a few glasses of wine. What we got was the Great Hall decorated in a style Gilderoy Lockhart would have been overjoyed with, and along with the residents of the school, just about every person I had ever met in my life. Except for the Malfoys. There was no sign of them or any of the other ex-Slytherins but they weren't really needed. There were more than enough people to cheer and clap as Severus and I entered the room.

I was feeling rather self-conscious after what we had been doing for the last few hours. Knowing the Headmaster as I did, I wouldn't have put it past him to have told everyone why we had been delayed. But fortunately, without any comments from him, we were ushered into our seats at the head table and the party began in earnest. After the toasts and a small speech by Professor Dumbledore, which fortunately didn't include anything embarrassing, I spent the next three or four hours talking to all my friends and explaining how and why this marriage had taken place.

I was obviously not keen for everyone to know the true reason for our wedding, so before we left Spinner's End Severus and I had agreed to tell everyone that whilst working together we had discovered we were in love and had decided to be reckless and get married on a whim, hence the small ceremony. Whilst it might seem we were being a bit rash and hurrying into it, we pointed out that we had actually known each other for over seven years; and when Severus was talking to Mr and Mrs Weasley and several other members of the Order of the Phoenix I heard him add that he wanted to make sure I was provided for legally if anything should happen to him. That comment made Mrs Weasley go a bit teary-eyed and pretty much ended any queries she might have had about our union but it made my stomach twist in knots, thinking that something could happen to Severus and I would be powerless to stop it. The idea that I could lose my beloved Potions Master was too unbearable to even consider, so I tried to put it out of my mind and instead enjoy the party and the good-natured ribbing from the twins about my choice of husband.

But once the party was over and everyone began to drift off, things went seriously downhill for me. I had assumed that now we were married, Severus and I would be living together. No mention had been made of new quarters being provided for us and I was sure he was unlikely to want to move into my rooms, which weren't anywhere near as spacious as his, and of course he was well-settled, having been in them for seventeen years. So that meant me moving in with him. I was happy to do that, even with the obtrusively Slytherin decor, but when we walked back to the dungeons he stopped me outside the door to my room and with a hasty and very chaste — especially considering what we had done earlier — kiss on my cheek, Severus bade me goodnight.

You have absolutely no idea how upset I was at this, as I had been hoping to continue where we had left off earlier at Spinner's End. It seemed Severus hadn't had the same idea. I thought I had finally snared my Potions Master and had the most perfect day of my life, but with that one act Severus showed me that he really had only done this to rescue me from Lucius, and that regardless of what had happened between us earlier that day, he didn't want to be married to me. Tearfully, I entered my room, a place I hadn't expected to end the evening. Without even removing my wedding dress I fell onto my cold and lonely bed and sobbed my heart out until it wasn't physically possible for me to cry any more.


	12. Learning to Live Together

The following morning found me in a bad mood, mainly due to very little sleep. It was amazing just how many hours I had been able to cry for before the tears finally stopped. I wasn't happy that my Potions Master had left me alone on our wedding night, nor was I pleased that he didn't want to share a bed with me. We were already sharing everything else and I didn't think expecting my husband to sleep with me was too much to ask for. I decided I would talk to him about it and see if we could come to some arrangement. After all, it was entirely possible that after so many years alone it just hadn't occurred to him that I would want to be with him at night. But before I could do that I needed to calm down and wake up; my tiredness definitely wasn't going to help things. I tried to act normally at breakfast, both in an attempt to raise my mood and to ensure that the rest of the school, who must surely have thought that Severus and I had just spent a night of wedded bliss together, weren't aware of my unhappiness with him.

I didn't have a chance to talk to Severus for most of the day as he was busy with classes and he had given me a particularly difficult potion to brew as part of my apprenticeship, along with a long essay to write afterwards. So it wasn't until after dinner that evening, when he had reviewed my day's work, that we finally got to talk. Initially I felt a little awkward about bringing up the subject but then I thought about it and realised that I was Severus' wife, however that may have occurred, and I was entitled to discuss our living arrangements with him. So I enquired what was going to happen now we were married and asked whether we were going to share his quarters or move elsewhere so we could be together. Unfortunately, I didn't get the response I had been hoping for.

Clearly and calmly, Severus explained that he had no intention of sharing his quarters with me. In fact, he spent quite some time explaining how he felt it would be better if we were to stay in our current quarters and even mentioned something about us keeping separate identities. I tried to point out that as a married couple that the entire school knew about there was little point in keeping separate identities and we should live the way everyone surely thought we did, but my arguments left him unmoved. It was clear he had no intention of moving from his quarters, in which he had sought refuge for so long, and he also had no intention of allowing me to move in with him. I gave up attempting to convince him he was wrong that night as I was tired and crotchety from my lack of sleep the night before and he had been rostered to do hall duty. I headed back to my quarters a little dejectedly, ready for an early night, although determined to revisit the conversation the following day.

But even a good night's sleep and my admission to Severus that I had really enjoyed what had happened between us at Spinner's End and wanted it to continue didn't have the effect I wanted. Within a week of our marriage I had stopped speaking to him almost completely, no longer willing to play nice when he wasn't willing to even think about providing what I considered to be a fundamental right as his wife. I didn't care how honourable he was being; all I could see was that he was being selfish. Eventually I was so annoyed with him that I wasn't willing to even talk to him any more. I did speak to him when I helped out in lessons and when we were sitting at the table in the Great Hall for meals, because I didn't really have any choice and I didn't want to share with the school the problems we were already having, but I'm sure he must have been aware that I wasn't happy with him. In an attempt to be understanding I had even considered whether he was in fact the monkish person that some of his friends' wives had suggested he was, but I honestly didn't believe that to be the case after what we had done at Spinner's End. Once we got going he had been just as active a participant as I — in fact, he had been positively dominant. It wasn't as if I had forced him into it.

And then, just when I had begun to think our marriage was totally doomed, he came to find me and apologised. He explained that he had been finding it hard to come to terms with being married when he had been alone for so long and being set in his ways he had automatically rejected out of hand any idea of us living together. But now he'd had time to consider it and he agreed that it was ridiculous for us to sleep apart when every other aspect of our lives was already shared and our marriage was in the public domain. He didn't quite go as far as to say that he _wanted_ to sleep with me, but I didn't care. Severus was asking me to move in with him and I wasn't about to say no. And I was certain, too, that once we got into bed again, any arguments between us would be over. So, finally, just over a week after our marriage I at last became Mrs Snape properly and moved my belongings into the Potion Master's quarters.

Slowly, very slowly, our relationship began to blossom and what had begun somewhat uncomfortably gradually became far more easy-going and intimate. I began to introduce a few new touches to Severus' old bachelor pad, including adding a sofa to the lounge as I didn't like the stiff and uncomfortable wing-backed chairs he insisted on sitting in, and updating the bedding on his huge and amazingly comfortable four-poster bed to something a little more sensual — and less Slytherin. I also began flirting with him, subtly at first, but as he became more receptive to it I turned it up a notch, finally releasing and allowing him to know a little of the desire I'd had for him for so long. Things were going really well between us, both out of and especially in the bedroom and I was now sure he was definitely no monk.

Strangely, there had been no word at all from Lucius or Draco regarding our wedding. They had to have known about it as the Headmaster's "little" celebration had included a marriage announcement and a half-page advertisement of congratulation from the Headmaster, teachers, and pupils of Hogwarts in the _Daily Prophet_ the day after our wedding — designed, I had no doubt, purely to show Lucius that he had been outwitted. Since the advert had appeared, Severus and I had received a steady stream of owls bearing cards and wedding gifts, including many from the women I had met at Lucius' garden party, all of whom seemed to be excited that the snarky Potions Master had finally tied the knot.

Severus, too, had obviously wondered at Lucius' lack of contact. He mentioned it to me one afternoon whilst we had a free period, sharing as we often did at these times a pot of tea whilst we relaxed in our quarters, away from the rest of the school. To be honest, I wasn't really that bothered that we hadn't heard from the Malfoys. I was sure Lucius was busy trying to pretend the whole contract thing had never happened, as it would have been quite embarrassing for his family if it had become public knowledge. But Severus was sure Lucius would have told his close Death Eater friends in order to prepare them for Draco's union with a Mudblood, reminding me what a storm I had caused at his garden party in the summer and that they wouldn't have been very accepting of our relationship. That seemed a bit odd to me because they had accepted Severus and me as a couple well enough, as all the gifts and good wishes had shown. But he had explained how there was a huge difference between us being a couple, with him being only a half-blood, and me being part of a couple with Draco, who was the scion of one of the country's oldest pure-blood families. Whilst Lucius may have helped to introduce the new marriage law, it wasn't going to gain many fans amongst the old guard pure-blood families even if it would give them dominion over their betrothed's magic.

But I was still sure that Lucius hadn't said anything to anyone and my reason for this was the women at his party. I was absolutely certain that had he made the contract between Draco and me known to his friends, I would have received some interesting questions from them by owl as to why I was becoming betrothed to Draco when Severus and I were already lovers, especially knowing how interested they were in _our_ relationship. They wouldn't, however, have been at all surprised at the Potions Master and me tying the knot, except for the fact that he had actually done what nobody had ever thought he would do after so many years alone.

I suspected, and put forward the theory, that Lucius had known how unpopular the new law would be with both Muggle-borns and pure-bloods and had decided not to say anything about it until Draco and I became betrothed; and when our wedding had been so blatantly advertised, he decided to forget the whole thing and pretend it had never happened. In fact, I actually discovered this to be true when I contacted the Ministry of Magic later to turn down Draco's contract — a little late, I will admit, as it was well past the due date and I am sure they had realised by then even if they hadn't seen the _Daily Prophet_, but I felt I should do it formally. I found that there was no longer any record of the contract's ever having been made. Somehow Lucius, using his Ministry contacts, had managed to get it completely wiped from the records.

I just didn't understand why Severus was worried about the lack of contact. Surely it was a good thing that Lucius hadn't been in touch with us and the contract wasn't known about by everyone. More than ever I really didn't want people knowing we had only got married for that reason — not now, when things were going so well between us. I did query it, as to be honest I was a little worried that Severus would now be thinking of ending our relationship since there was no longer any danger from Lucius. Yep, that's how insecure I was still feeling about what my beloved Potions Master and I shared. So I have to admit I was extremely pleased when he told me that no one would ever hear from him the reason for our wedding, and the way he said it reassured me that the end of our marriage wasn't on the cards any time soon.

Thinking about the women at Lucius' party made me think about what I had told them. As it had turned out I hadn't been that far off the mark with what I'd said about Severus' prowess in bed and it made me grin quite wickedly, I think, as I thought about it. When Severus wanted to know why I was smiling, I shared my theory as to why I was so sure Lucius hadn't told anyone about the contract. Severus was completely shocked by what I had said and almost choked on his tea, poor love, before asking why I had told those old busy-bodies we were lovers. I had to explain that it was their own fault that I had done it. Those dried-up old prunes had all been so desperate for some gossip and dying to know what I was doing there with the Potions Master when he was never seen with women, that I didn't want to disappoint them, and so had made up a salacious tale that made his stock rise with them considerably. I also told him about his conflicting reputations — that no one could decide whether he was a monk or a slut — which I think rather amused him.

And then things got flirty between us again, and I revealed a little more about my desire for him, admitting that I fantasised about him all the time, both now and before we were married, which is absolutely true. Marriage hasn't in any way stopped my fantasies of him, it has just helped to make some of them a reality. Soon he had abandoned his stuffy chair and was on the sofa with me, holding me as we teased and kissed each other. What I wanted him to do was to take me to bed and make love to me but there wasn't time for that, alas, as he had a class to teach. I did, very naughtily I suppose, attempt to get him to skive off, but of course I knew that would never happen. As he pointed out, it wouldn't set a very good example for the students.

But I knew I was in for a good evening as the flirting had obviously aroused him as much as it had done me. I couldn't wait for lessons to end so we could get physical — another bond made in our ever-improving relationship.


	13. Christmas

A/N: _So we're almost at the end of the story, only this chapter and the epilogue to go and so I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who's made it this far. I really appreciate you taking the time to read the story and to those of you who have reviewed, a special thank you. It really does cheer me up when I get a review, especially when it's a good one._ _Dx_

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The first term went really quickly and before I knew it Christmas was upon us once more. As ever, I got to sit with my beloved Potions Master for Christmas dinner although this time it was slightly different. It didn't provide quite the same thrill as in previous years which wasn't really surprising because instead of that one perfect moment my entire day was one long perfect moment, starting from the moment we woke up with leisurely lovemaking followed by present-giving and an unhurried breakfast, and continued with a lovely meandering walk around the grounds of Hogwarts in the crisp snow that had covered the ground for the previous week. I even managed to talk Severus into a snowball fight, which was lots of fun, and I know he enjoyed it more than he pretended to. After dinner we retired for a nap, although to be honest we didn't do much in the way of sleeping. In the evening we attended the Headmaster's party, which was far less dry than I expected and I think even Severus had fun, even though he didn't drop his scowl once the whole time we were there. And then, finally, we went back to bed once more, stopping en route for a little kissing under several sprigs of mistletoe that had mysteriously found their way into the dungeon corridors on our way back to our rooms.

Marriage was really beginning to suit my beloved Potions Master. He was lightening up considerably, no longer anywhere near as stiff and formal in his dealings with me as he had been at the start of our union. He was still pretty much the same as he had always been with the students but I didn't really expect anything different there. Severus was a harsh taskmaster and he always would be, regardless of how happily married he was. He really began to relax once we talked properly about his spying for the Order of the Phoenix, which he told me he needed me to know about, as he didn't want to keep any secrets from me. I, of course, had been fairly sure that was what he was doing ever since I had seen him at Grimmauld Place, and told him so. But to be told about it formally increased the fear I had that he would be hurt or worse and it caused that knot of anxiety in my stomach once again. But once he explained that he had to help Harry regardless of the cost and that nothing, not even our marriage, would change that, I knew I had no choice but to support him wholeheartedly. The best way to do that was to join the Order, so I told him I wanted to join. I also told him I had no intention of letting whatever it was he did get in the way of, or affect our marriage. I think this helped to make him realise I really was serious about us as a couple.

A few days after Christmas, Severus and I received an invitation to the Malfoys' Christmas party. This came as something of a surprise, to be honest, as Lucius was obviously still smarting over being outwitted about the contract. Severus told me that usually they met up fairly regularly for a drink and a chat, and Lucius often used to come to the school, too; but although it had been several months now since we had been married, until the arrival of the invitation there had still been no contact from him. I wasn't really surprised that he hadn't come to the school, after all Draco was no longer a student so Lucius had little reason to be there. But his ignoring Severus when they were supposed to be such good friends was quite telling.

I'm not sure Severus wanted to go to the party. I think he was worried that Lucius might do something to show his displeasure with us. I thought we would probably be safe as long as we stayed within the main party area. Surely Lucius wasn't likely to make a scene when he had gone to such lengths to eradicate all trace of the contract. Anyway, we had to face him at some point, and a crowded place during a party seemed like the best time, to me at least. I wasn't sure whether Narcissa knew what Lucius had done or whether she knew about his desire for me, but if she did, I definitely didn't want to get caught alone with her any more than I did with Lucius in case she somehow thought I had been leading him on in some way. In the end we decided to go and Severus promised me that, as with the garden party, he wouldn't let me out of his sight.

The party actually turned out to be quite fun, certainly better than I had been anticipating. Although Lucius and Narcissa were a little distant when they greeted us, they were polite enough. Narcissa, who was extremely festively and I'm sure equally expensively dressed in red velvet and white fur, kept as tight a grip on Lucius as I had on Severus at the garden party, quite clearly making sure everyone knew she was his wife. Of course it wasn't long before the busy-bodies I had wowed with my stories in the summer came to find me, eager to talk about all things wedding. Severus sensibly took the opportunity to disappear and was soon engaged in his own conversation with the husbands of the women I was talking to, although about what I had no idea. It soon became clear that most of the women were convinced that Severus had married me because I was pregnant. They were quite disappointed when I told them this wasn't the case, at least not for the time being.

Knowing that they wanted something salacious to brighten up their dull lives, I spun a tale of passion and secrecy, explaining how we had almost been caught several times in our lovemaking, which had reached epic proportions and had been in danger of becoming obsessive. I told them that as our relationship would have been frowned upon had it been discovered, we decided to get married as it was the only way we could legitimately continue the relationship so voraciously within the school. As we were both tied to being at Hogwarts for most of the year there was no way we could conduct our relationship away from the school, nor were either of us willing to give up our love. So, although it had been hasty it had been properly considered and now we were free, as husband and wife, to continue our relationship in any way we liked. My story contained everything I knew they wanted to hear and they lapped it up. By the time I managed to escape them I was feeling quite smug about the whole thing. Because my story had such a ring of truth about it, it would be almost impossible to disprove.

Missing Severus now, I went to look for him, only to find him deeply engrossed in conversation with some very serious-looking men. I had no idea who they were or what they were talking about, but guessing it might be something that I had no business knowing, I decided to leave him to it. With no one else to talk to I went to get some food instead. I'm not stupid, so I did have a quick look around the room before I went to make sure there was no chance of suddenly finding myself alone with Lucius or Narcissa. But they were still playing the perfect hosts and were entertaining the new Minister for Magic, the incredibly creepy Pius Thicknesse, so I figured I was relatively safe, at least for a little while. I wandered through to the dining room, where a huge buffet table attended by house-elves took up one side of the room and tables filled with a variety of people I didn't know were scattered around the rest of it. Taking a glass of wine from one of the house-elves that were doing sweeps of the guests I spent some time perusing the food on offer and eventually left the buffet with a full plate of delicious-looking food.

I looked around, debating where to sit. As I said, I didn't really know any of the people there all that well and I wasn't keen on the idea of sitting with a group of strangers but there weren't any completely free tables. And then I spotted Draco and Blaise, sitting on their own at a table fairly well littered with empty champagne bottles. I wasn't sure whether it was wise to go and sit with them, especially if they were as drunk as the empty bottles indicated they might be, but there was really nowhere else to sit. So I made my way over to them, hoping the festive atmosphere would be enough to keep things friendly between us.

They were both actually pleased to see me and weren't anywhere near as drunk as I had expected. They were trying to keep a low profile, as Pansy and her friends were on the prowl with mistletoe and neither of the men wanted to be dragged into having to kiss any of them. Actually, I did feel quite sympathetic towards them. I knew what a harridan Pansy could be when she wanted and I could easily imagine that the idea of being hounded by a group of Slytherin girls was quite terrifying. The three of us joked and laughed for quite a while, whilst we also caught up on what had been happening since we left school. Of course both of them knew about my marriage to Severus — after all, surely everyone in the wizarding world had seen Professor Dumbledore's advertisement — and we discussed it briefly. But as Draco already knew all about my desire for the Potions Master and was well aware of why the marriage had taken place, we didn't dwell on it for long, neither of us wanting to rake over what had happened; and Blaise was apparently not awfully impressed with my choice so he didn't really want to talk about it either.

Instead we talked about Blaise's mother, who had just married again for the ninth time to some extremely rich (of course) French aristocrat Blaise really didn't like. He confided that he was about to move to Italy permanently as his mother had given him a huge vineyard in order to basically get him off her hands. He was looking forward to the challenge and thought it would be relaxing to live out there and look after grapes. Of course it would also get him away from the war we all knew was probably coming but didn't want to talk about. All he needed, he said, was a "bellissima donna" and he would be extremely content with his life. I have to admit I couldn't help thinking about how lovely it would be to own a vineyard in Italy, and for a moment I thought about the fact that it could have been me going with Blaise. But of course our relationship had never been serious enough for that; and anyway, I had my Potions Master so I didn't need an Italian stallion with his own vineyard.

Draco had apparently been debating what to do ever since leaving school and after toying with the idea of going on to further education, as Hermione had done, he had finally decided to join the Ministry of Magic, as Harry and Neville had decided to do. He was talking about becoming an Auror, which seemed a bit odd to me when every Auror I had ever met was a Dark wizard catcher and Draco's father — and maybe the rest of his family, although I wasn't sure about him — were Death Eaters. But he seemed enthusiastic enough about the idea and told me his parents were relatively pleased at his decision. It made me wonder what would happen to that department when, or if, Voldemort managed to take over the Ministry, and more specifically what would happen to my friends. But I didn't want to think such scary or depressing thoughts otherwise it would remind me of what Severus was doing and I definitely didn't want to dwell on that any more than I had to. So I congratulated Draco on his choice and told him I thought he would be good at the job, which, considering how good he had been at spying on me when he was at school, he might well be.

By now our stock of conversation had begun to dry up. As Slytherins, neither Draco nor Blaise were particularly interested in hearing what any of my friends were doing, and I had no interest in people like Crabbe and Goyle. So, not wanting to rake up the past, we pretty much just ended up sitting companionably and laughing at the people around us while we attacked another bottle of champagne. I have to admit I was pretty relieved when Severus finally came to rescue me. As pathetic as it seems, my heart leapt when I realised he had been worried about me. No one else would have known as he was wearing his trademark scowl, but I had got to know him so well over the months we had been together I was able to see past that to the anxiety that flickered briefly in his eyes.

Saying goodbye to Draco and Blaise, I joined Severus, who suggested that maybe it was time to leave the party as he could think of far better things to be doing than hanging around with a bunch of Death Eaters. I agreed with him wholeheartedly and we went to find Lucius and Narcissa again so we could say goodbye and not appear rude. Fortunately, they were still being the consummate hosts and chatted to us perfectly pleasantly although perhaps a touch coolly, for a few minutes, even pretending to be disappointed when we told them, apologetically and obviously disappointed ourselves, that we had to leave as Severus had been rostered to do hall duty that evening. Lucius even went so far as to apologise for not contacting Severus sooner as he had been rather busy and he promised to get in touch with him in the new year so they could go for their usual drink and have a good catch-up. Severus told him he would be delighted and then, somehow feeling we had escaped lightly, we collected our cloaks and Apparated back to the gates of Hogwarts.

Once we were back in our quarters Severus told me he had been surprised to see me talking to Blaise and Draco. I explained that it was pretty much because they were the only people I knew and that actually the conversation had been quite interesting. I commented about how nice Blaise is, saying, as I had always felt, that he would have made a better Hufflepuff than Slytherin. Severus disagreed with me and explained that whilst Blaise was very easy-going and didn't share his friend's prejudices, he still had the sort of cunning and determination that made up a Slytherin, along with the pure-blood breeding. He poured us each a brandy, then joined me on the sofa whilst I frowned and looked at him in confusion. I knew most of the Slytherins were pure-blood, but not all of them — Severus certainly wasn't — so surely blood status wasn't _that_ important.

But then, for only the second time since we had got married, Severus opened his heart to me. He explained that whilst he was half-blood, his mother's family were a very old pure-blood line and she had instilled in him the importance of blood just as much as the Malfoys or any of the other old families had with their children. I was surprised, I will admit, but I couldn't believe he felt the same as all those pure-bloods who believed in all that blood status crap and I needed reassurance. He went on to tell me that his childhood hadn't been very pleasant as his Muggle father hadn't treated him or his mother very well and he had hoped that going to Hogwarts and being a Slytherin would give him the identity he needed, that it would restore the strength their line had had before his father's Muggle blood had weakened it.

Just when I was beginning to worry that I had been completely wrong about my Potions Master, he admitted that he had been stupid and immature with that type of thinking and it had led him into doing some idiotic and bad things. He told me he had no desire to speak or even think about the things he had done as they had caused him to lose the best friend he had ever had and the girl he loved more than anything else in the world. But the experience had changed him and made him realise that blood isn't important, people are. He said he was proud to be a Slytherin but never judged people by who their relatives were — except for the Malfoys, as it was always useful to know who you were dealing with where they were concerned.

I was quite surprised at his revelation and couldn't help wondering who the girl was who he had been so in love with. I'll admit it, I felt a little bit jealous of her. Was she the reason he had never been in a long term relationship with anyone else? I knew from what the busy-bodies had told me that he never appeared to be interested in anything permanent with any woman, even though plenty had apparently been quite taken with him over the years. But although I would have loved to question him about it further, Severus had just told me he didn't even want to think about it, let alone talk about it, and so I had no choice but to keep silent. There was no point in potentially starting an argument just because I was too nosey for my own good. All I could do was hope that as our relationship progressed and we became even more settled, Severus would reveal and share his secrets with me, knowing he could trust me to keep them. Until then, I was happy to wait, knowing that however our marriage may have started my beloved Potions Master was really beginning to care for me.

Severus asked whether the wedding had been mentioned at all, and I told him we had discussed it briefly. I said Blaise wasn't too impressed with the match but as I had known, Draco wasn't bothered by losing out to Severus. Severus told me he had wondered whether Lucius had arranged the contract without telling Draco but I said that wasn't the case. I didn't want to talk about the contract any more; I was feeling a little guilty that I hadn't shared the truth of that with him as he had shared his secrets with me, but I didn't yet feel ready. One day I would tell him, but not yet — not until I was sure he would understand and not leave me for deceiving him. Instead I told him about Draco wanting to become an Auror and Blaise's imminent departure to foreign climes and the beauty of a vineyard, and his desire to find a beautiful woman to share his life. I added a touch wistfully how lovely it would be to live somewhere like that. Severus looked at me intently for a moment before replying that all he could offer me was a dungeon home in a draughty Scottish castle and a ramshackle house in a dingy town in Northern England, and that perhaps I would be better off leaving him for Blaise.

Did Severus really sound wistful, as if he was disappointed that he had nothing to offer me? I needed to rapidly disabuse him of that notion, especially as he had just told me I was beautiful and my heart was swelling with love for my wonderful Potions Master. And so I put down my glass, wrapped my arms around him, and pulled him close for a kiss that I hoped would show him I didn't want anyone but him, and I told him he wasn't getting rid of me that easily. Once the kissing had finished the flirting had started again, and I told him I already had the tall, dark man I wanted, and that I had some very good memories of his ramshackle house . . . especially of the bedroom.

Playfully he enquired what I thought about the dungeon home, at which I confided that I was expecting that night to be a great memory to add to all the others I already had. And then I kissed him again, knowing that he knew what I wanted, and I couldn't help sighing happily as my beloved Potions Master picked me up and carried me towards our bedroom.


	14. Epilogue

So now you know the full story of what I did to catch my beloved Potions Master and you will have seen for yourself just how much in love with him I really and truly am. Unfortunately, there is still no sign of him having returned from his meeting with Voldemort; that little knot of worry I've had so many times about him since I first saw him at Grimmauld Place all those years ago has become a huge ball of tension and fear as the night goes on. I don't want to think the worst, because there is no reason he should be in any more danger than usual, although that is more than enough; but I can't help worrying that perhaps Lucius has somehow discovered a way to pay him back for what Severus did to him.

I can't sit here any longer waiting for him to return. It's almost time to get up and head off to breakfast anyway, where I can confide my fears to the Headmaster. Perhaps he has heard from Severus and has some good news to give me. But before I do that I have something special to do, something I have done on this day every year for the last six years, something that will at long last finally tell my husband who his secret admirer is. I did actually consider not giving him the rose and card this year as it seemed a little silly now we're married, but at the same time it seemed sad to break the tradition, and without them how will Severus ever know they were from me, unless I tell him? And that isn't really the point of a secret valentine, is it? So I am going to place them on his desk one last time and then hopefully he will finally realise just how much I adore him and he will stop worrying that I only married him to escape Lucius. At long last the relationship I have always dreamed of having with him will finally be attainable.

As I said at the beginning, today is the first day of our new life together and I really do truly believe we can be blissfully happy, especially as I have some more news to impart. I have discovered that I'm pregnant, which should make all those busy-bodies very happy when they hear about it although I'm not sure Lucius will be so pleased.

I just hope Severus will be.


End file.
